Change of Heart - By S.E. Edwards Page 0,84

of my girlfriends before.”

“Thanks.” I give Min another hug. “I need to think things through. Do you think it’s safe for me to go outside?”

“Nobody should know that we’re here,” Min says. “Still, it’s probably better to avoid the streets.” Her face brightens. “I just remembered! There are stairs going up to the rooftop. Here, I’ll show you the way.”

***

I walk to the edge of the rooftop patio and peer out at the city below. Calling it a “city” is probably too generous. This is more of a well-populated town.

I lean against the railing, feeling the cool wind on my face. The sky overhead is darkening. It’s going to be dusk soon.

“Penny.”

I jump. “Rich? What are you doing up here?”

Rich emerges from behind a wall. He looks very subdued, very mellow. “I might ask you the same thing.”

“I didn’t come up here to look for you, if that what you’re thinking,” I tell him. “Min said you stormed off. I thought you’d have taken the bike somewhere.”

Rich looks at me. “I was going to. But I couldn’t stand the thought of being far from you.”

Then why did you try to get Min to tell me to leave? I think. But, I stay quiet.

Rich walks up beside me. He puts his hand on the railing, close to mine. He doesn’t touch me, though.

“I’ve been thinking,” he says after a long, contemplative moment. “About you. You’re afraid.”

“What?” I turn on him. “What are you talking about?”

“You’re afraid,” Rich repeats.

“Of what?” I ask.

“That’s what I’ve been trying to figure out.” Rich sighs. “You’re not afraid of the right things. You watched me fight Victor with barely a peep. You even tried to run when you thought he was distracted. That’s not fear. That’s bravery. But that’s not what I’m talking about.”

I fix my eyes on him. “What are you talking about?”

“I’m talking about… losing control. I think that is what frightens you most.”

I huff dismissively. “I’ve never seen your philosophical side before.”

“Just listen. We’ve spent enough time together for me to understand you. Not a lot, just a little. But maybe that’s enough. I know you’re always trying to take care of yourself. By yourself.”

“I have to,” I tell him. “The world hasn’t given me much of a choice.”

“You have a choice now, Penny.” He locks his gaze with mine. “You have me. I promise, I will take care of you. Through the best times and the worst.” His hands moves to overlap mine. “But only if you want me to. Whatever happens, I will always do the right thing by you.”

Rich leans across and kisses me gently, sweetly, on the forehead. I shudder when his lips leave my skin.

“Only if you want,” he repeats.

“Rich…”

“I also know this. Nobody can tell what the future holds. Whatever happens, I want to be there with you. I can’t promise you anything more than what we have now. Is it going to be enough? I don’t know. But I fucking hope to God it will be.”

Rich turns away. “You don’t have to say anything now. I’ll leave you to think things through.”

***

Only when Rich’s body disappears behind the closed door do I let out the breath I’d been holding.

I wander around pointlessly on the patio, doing everything I can to avoid focusing on the most burning question in my mind.

One minute, Rich wants me to leave. The next, he doesn’t. He’s conflicted, probably as much as I am. Min told me he always keeps his promises. Is that what’s tearing at him? His promise to keep me safe and the impossible reconciliation of his desire to keep me close?

The thing he said about losing control cut so close to the bone that it scares me.

He’s right, of course. My whole life I had to be the one in control. There was no other way to live. Being in control was what helped me to survive on my own.

But now, things were changing. Feelings I would never have expected a week ago were blooming in my chest.

They all center around Rich.

‘I will take care of you.’ His promise sounds too good to be true. I have never had the luxury to rely on somebody else.

I sit on an empty bench and look at my hands. I trace the spot on my forehead where Rich had kissed me. Why was he being so sweet all of a sudden?

Maybe it is love. But I’ve been burned enough times not to believe in fairy tales. Life is no Disney movie.