Change of Heart - By S.E. Edwards Page 0,75
Nine, one, one. Hitting the buttons and feeling all hope get sucked out of me when it didn’t work. I didn’t know what to do. It was just me and him down there. I wanted to pick him up and carry him out, but I was afraid his neck was broken. I couldn’t risk it.
“So I ran out, fast as I could. I called the ambulance from outside, then rushed back to Cody. He was barely breathing anymore. I was—damn, I was helpless. It was the worst feeling in the world, you know? Being so close to someone you care about and being unable to do a single. Fucking. Thing!”
“It’s all right,” I say, stroking his arm, trying to calm him down. “Rich, it’s all right.”
“No, it’s not. The paramedics came. They sure took their fucking time about it, but they came. They wouldn’t let me ride in the ambulance with them because I’m not family.” Rich spits the word. “What kind of bullshit is that? By the time I got to the hospital, they told me the worst. Cody had three broken vertebrae, a cracked skull. He was in a coma. They said he’d never walk again.”
Rich takes another moment before continuing. “I didn’t believe them. I knew the kid had spirit. He’d walk out of the hospital on his own two legs the day he woke up. I knew it. I just knew it, deep down in my gut. It was the most unshakeable belief I’ve ever had.”
Rich goes quiet. For a long time, all I can hear is his breathing, the crackling fire, and the gentle lapping of water somewhere nearby. When he speaks again his voice is thin. “Nobody got the chance to find out. Cody flat lined two days later.”
Shit.
I berate myself for being so stupid to push him on a subject that obviously cuts close to the heart.
Shit, shit, shit!
What do I say now? I was never good with this type of sensitive stuff. “Rich, I’m sorry,” I try. It comes out even sappier than it sounded in my head.
He grunts and stands up. The sudden loss of his body leaves me reeling. “Spare me. It wasn’t your fault. You weren’t even there.”
“Still, I…” I know how it feels? I do not. What Amanda said about false sympathy was right. It always comes out hollow.
Rich looks at me expectantly. “You what?” he asks, his naked form stunning in the night.
“I…” I shake my head. “Never mind. I know it must have been terrible for you.” And I wish I had been there to comfort you after.
“It was,” he agrees. He bends down to retrieve his boxers, then his jeans. I see the pale line of that old scar running across his shoulder and down his chest. I wonder where it had come from. Probably fighting. I decide now is not the right time to ask.
“Where are you going?” I say when he starts to stroll away.
“For a walk,” he declares, flattening his hair that I’d messed up earlier. “I need to clear my head.”
I start sitting up. “I’ll come with you—”
“No!” he barks. I shy back. He winces, and softens his tone. “I mean, I need to be by myself. You understand, right?”
“Of course.”
“Good.” He leans down and kisses my temple. “I’ll be back before first light. Try to get some sleep.”
“By myself?” I start to say, but he’s pacing away before the words even leave my throat. I let him go.
A few moments later, the night swallows him whole.
Suddenly, I feel very alone. I’m by myself on a dark beach, the fire a beacon for anybody out there. I snuff it out by kicking sand on it. It’s odd, but I feel safer in the dark.
I lie back and think about everything Rich had told me. I never knew how much shit he’s had to deal with in his life. My heart aches for him. I want to be the one to hold him close, to tell him everything will be all right. But I know, deep down, that I can never be that girl.
Chapter Sixteen
Sunlight breaking the grey sky overhead rouses me from a contented sleep. I open my eyes slowly, savoring the last vestige of a dream that involve Rich running his sure, strong hand over my…
I bolt up in alarm. Rich! He said he’d be back by first light. I look around. I’m alone by the fire pit. Had he left me again? Panic threatens to take hold.
I stand up,