Change of Heart - By S.E. Edwards Page 0,67

I aren’t dating. You were ready to leave me with Amanda just a few hours ago, remember?”

“Yeah, well things change!” He jabs a finger at me. “It looks like you got your wish now, doesn’t it?” He gives a full-on, malicious smile. “Now you’re stuck with me. Just like you wanted.”

“Whatever.” I shove past him. “I can’t deal with this shit right now.”

I’m halfway through the parking lot before he calls out, “Penny, wait.”

I stop and take a deep breath. I’m not ready to talk to him. Not with so much going through my mind. I want—no, I need—nothing more than a few hours alone, away from all this madness, to sort everything out. To understand how I really feel about Rich.

I hear him stop behind me. I stiffen slightly when he puts his hands on my upper arms and steps into me. I can smell him in the clear night: That musky, deep, and completely male scent that belong only to him.

“I don’t need your protection,” I whisper softly. My voice trembles.

“I know.” He places his chin on the top of my head. His hands cover both of mine.

For a long moment, the two of us stay like that. My body seems to want to melt into his. I don’t know if I should be enjoying the quiet embrace as much as I do.

“But I can’t help it, Penny,” he continues eventually. “It’s what you do to me. It’s what you bring out in me. I know everything between us is fucked up. I know everything is broken. But all the feelings I have inside… I can’t put them into words. So, I do the only thing I can. I act. I act on them. Sometimes, I lose control when I do it. But I promise you, nobody has ever made me feel so conflicted before.”

I laugh a little. The sound comes out as unsteady as my nerves. “Is that supposed to make me feel special? That I make you feel conflicted?”

“I don’t fucking know what it’s supposed to make you feel. But it’s the truth.”

I step away from him, suppressing the sigh that wants to come out of my throat at the loss of his warmth. I turn back and look him in the eye. “So, you act. Is that your thing, Rich? You act and you regret it?”

“Yes,” he says, picking up my hand again. His fingers intertwine with mine. “I act, and later I wish I hadn’t. Like just now, in the bar.”

“Like when you kissed me in Amanda’s garage,” I say softly.

“Yes,” he whispers. He cups my chin and lifts it up. “Yes, just like that.”

Slowly, as if we’re both in a trance, his lips descend to meet mine. They touch. His kiss is soft, gentle, and caring. He doesn’t force himself on me. He doesn’t pry my mouth open with his tongue. He just stays like that, pressing his lips into mine.

It is the sweetest kiss I’ve ever had. But, no matter how much I want the moment to last… it can’t. I turn my head away.

“We can’t do this, Rich,” I tell him, staring sadly at the passing cars.

“Why not?” He presses his nose into my hair. I shudder as he inhales deeply. “Says who?”

“Says me,” I tell him, knowing that if he holds me for even a second longer all my current resolve will melt away. I step back, breaking off from him. “And, says you. In Amanda’s house. You told me we couldn’t be together. That you weren’t right for me.” I take a shockingly unsteady breath. “Tonight, I realized you were right.”

Rich’s expression doesn’t change. His face remains exactly the same. If I hadn’t spent so much time with him, it would have been easy to miss the sudden way his eyes become crestfallen. “What?”

“You were right,” I repeat. “The two of us are wrong for each other. I make you say and do stupid things. You put me in danger. We don’t match. We make a horrible pair.”

“Penny…”

“No, Rich. You know it’s the truth. I didn’t want to see it before. Now, I do. You opened my eyes to it.”

“You know you can’t just go home anymore,” he says gravely. “Amanda knows who you are, which means Tam and Victor do, too. You’re stuck with me until I can resolve things.”

“I know,” I agree. I’m impressed by how resolute my voice sounds. Inside, I’m on the verge of tears. “And I’ll stick with you through it to the end.