Catch Me If You Can Page 0,16

to show your license as often as you're asked for your ID."

I mulled the issue over for days, but could think of no solution short of working my way through commercial aviation school. I started frequenting bookstores again, thumbing through the various flying publications. I wasn't sure of what I was looking for, but I found it.

There it was, a small display ad in the back of one of the books placed by a plaque-making firm in Milwaukee that catered to professional people. The firm offered to duplicate any pilot's license, engraved in silver and mounted on a handsome eight-by-eleven-inch hardwood plaque, for only $35. The company used the standard, precut license die used by the FAA. All a pilot had to do was supply the pertinent information, including his FAA license number and ratings, and the firm would return a silver replica of his license, suitable for display anywhere. The FAA did have a mail-order branch, it appeared.

I wanted one of the plaques, naturally. I felt there had to be a way, plaque in hand, to reduce it to the proper size on appropriate paper. And I'd have my pilot's license!

I was feverish with the idea. I didn't write the firm; I called their offices in Milwaukee. I told the salesman I wanted one of the plaques and asked if the transaction could be handled by telephone.

He expressed no curiosity as to why I was in such a hurry. "Well, you can give me all the necessary information over the telephone, but we'll have to have a check or money order before we actually make up the plaque," said the man. "In the meantime, we can start roughing it out and we'll treat it as a special order. It'll be $37.50, including postage and special handling."

I didn't quibble. I gave him my alias, Frank Williams. I gave him my spurious age and my correct weight, height, color of hair and eyes and social security number. A pilot's license or certificate number is always the same as his social security number. I gave myself the highest rating a pilot can attain, an air transport rating. I told the man I was checked out on DC-9s, 727s and 707s. I gave him my address in care of general delivery, New York City (not unusual for commercial pilots who spend a lot of time in transit), and told him I'd have a money order in the mail that same day. I had the money order in the mail within an hour, in fact. It was the only valid draft I'd given in several weeks.

The plaque arrived within a week. It was gorgeous. Not only was I certified as a pilot in sterling, but the license replica even boasted the signature of the head of the Fed eral Aviation Agency.

I took the plaque to a hole-in-the-wall print shop in Brooklyn and sought out the head printer. "Look, I'd like to get my license reduced down so I can carry it in my wallet, you know, like you would a diploma. Can it be done?" I asked.

The printer studied the plaque admiringly. "Geez, I didn't know pilots got this sort of thing when they learned to fly," he said. "It's fancier'n a college diploma."

"Well, an actual license is a certificate, but it's back at my home in L.A.," I said. "This is something my girl gave me as a gift. But I'll be based here for several months and I would like to have a wallet-sized copy of my license. Can you do it with this or will I have to send for the certificate?"

"Nah, I can do it from this," he said, and, using a special camera, he reduced it to actual size, printed it on heavy white stock, cut it out and handed it to me. The whole process took less than thirty minutes and cost me five bucks. I laminated it with two pieces of plastic myself. I'd never seen a real pilot's license, but this sure as hell looked like one.

I put on my pilot's uniform, which I had had altered to a perfect fit, tilted my cap at a rakish angle and caught a bus to La Guardia Airport.

I was ready for flight duty. Provided someone else flew the plane.
CHAPTER THREE. Fly a Crooked Sky

There is enchantment in a uniform, especially one that marks the wearer as a person of rare skills, courage or achievement.

A paratrooper's wings tell of a special breed of soldier. A submariner's dolphin denotes the