dancing and not getting twatted in the face again.
Only one niggling doubt remained.
Patrick.
I was annoyed he had backed out on our plans and I was annoyed that I’d let him get away with it so easily. Was it a mix-up or could he just not be bothered? Like Sumi had said when he sent that first text, he’d always had a tendency to be a little callous, a little carefree with other people’s plans and feelings. But he wasn’t malicious, he wouldn’t let me down. Would he? No. So what if he was a bit flaky? These were simply growing pains, bumps in the road that would be smoothed out by time. For a moment I considered going back out to get my bag to text him. This was the kind of thing he’d get a kick out of. Not that he was a big dancer but he’d definitely enjoy a dark disco. Probably. Maybe in an ironic sense. I felt my arms sliding back down towards my waist in the time-honoured tradition of your mum dancing at her work’s Christmas party.
‘No,’ I whispered to myself, forcing all thoughts of my sort-of-boyfriend out of my head and throwing my arms back up in the air, waving them around like I just didn’t care, hoping that if I kept it up, it would become true again.
Before I knew it, my body was dripping with sweat, my black camisole sticking to me like a second skin as I sang out the words to every single song. We could have been in there for fifteen minutes or fifteen hours, I had no idea. Sumi was right, you didn’t need a drink to do this and you definitely didn’t need drugs. If I was any higher, I’d be a kite.
Someone’s unknown body part bumped into my hip while I was gyrating wildly to some vintage Prince, knocking me out of my euphoria for just a moment.
‘Sorry,’ a male voice yelled over the music.
‘No worries,’ I called back, dancing towards the tall, slender shape. In the misty darkness, I could just about make out a smile as we tentatively orbited each other. A long dormant flutter came to life in my chest. How long had it been since I danced with a stranger in a club?
Slowly, we moved closer and closer until I had my back pressed up against his front and his hands rested on my hips. Every moment of contact connected sharply; there was no booze in me to make my decisions fuzzy but the darkness kept reality at a safe distance. It felt so good, leaning into his solid chest, to move with someone, to connect with another body. And it was just dancing, no big deal, nothing to feel guilty about.
The music switched to a classic Madonna song and suddenly my hips took on a life of their own. I felt myself twist and turn, grinding against my partner and finding him more than up to the challenge. Without really thinking, I turned around, looping my arms around his neck as my skirt rode up above my knees to make room for his thigh between my legs. We swayed back and forth, skin on skin, sweat mingling with sweat as the gospel chorus kicked in, the two of us moving together in time to the music. Life is a mystery, indeed.
It’s only dancing, my mind whispered, my eyes closed and my body on fire as the sound of everyone singing drowned out the song and the pounding of my heart drowned out the voices of everyone singing around us. His hands moved down my back, slipping lower, his warm breath against my cheek …
And then without warning, the song ended and the music stopped. My dance partner and I froze, still pressed together, panting, sweating, on the precipice of something.
‘That’s a wrap on another Dark Disco, thanks for coming, everyone,’ a voice boomed through the speakers. ‘We’ll be back next month, hope we won’t be seeing you!’
And then the lights came on, unflattering fluorescent strip lights that were no one’s friend. I looked up at the man’s face and gasped.
‘John?’
I dropped him faster than if he’d been on fire. Staggering backwards, I pulled my skirt back into place, searching for the right words, but I was still half lost in another world.
‘Are you OK?’ he asked, holding out a hand.
‘There you are.’ Sumi, glassy-eyed, sweaty and utterly euphoric, bounced across the dance floor as everyone else began to filter out towards