Capturing Hearts - Faleena Hopkins Page 0,34

blanket retaining the marks as my arms fly up. “What? Look, I’m not going to let some jerk steal away my freedom!”

“Annie!” Brendan holds his hand up.

“No! There are a lot of sickos in the world and I’m not going to change my life just because of them. And what? How would that work with you having to be at Location Times Three so early every weekday? How could you come pick me up at three in the morning and then be up and have anything to offer your agency in the way of ideas, or even a smile!”

“Until I feel comfortable, I don’t want you at that place all by yourself.”

“I’m not by myself! Someone is always with me!”

He cocks his head to the side in irritation, his lips tight. “You know what I mean. Walking to your car! Fuck! You know what we went through. Why do I have to argue about this?!” Storming away with both hands holding his head like it’s about to explode, he makes a primal sound and freezes by our beautiful tree.

I stare at the scene, suddenly aware of the Charlie Brown Christmas theme song playing in the background. How did we get here? I don’t want this, and I know I’m partly to blame, but how to get out of it with this rebellious head of mine? I truly hate authority, and this is the first time I’ve received it from Brendan in a place out of the bedroom. There, I’m totally fine with it! How to balance being me and being a wife, that’s the problem; a very new one.

I close my eyes, feeling absolutely terrible. “I’m sorry.” When he doesn’t face me, I add softy, “It’s just you know how much I care about that place. I’ve put everything into it. I’m not just an employee. I own it. But I don’t want to fight with you! It’s Christmas Eve.”

With his back to me, his head falls in defeated agreement. “I know,” he mumbles. Turning around with his head still hanging, it’s a few moments before he’s able to look at me, and those moments are torture. He licks his lips, raising his eyes to meet mine. “I’ll have someone pick you up on the nights I can’t be there, at least for a little while. Please just give me this.”

“My work and having my own thing is very important, Brendan. You know that. I feel like I’m talking to Christiano!”

Brendan glares at me. “That’s not fair.”

Exasperated, I exclaim, “It’s not! You’re right! It’s not fair that a woman has to worry about being assaulted and has to change her life accordingly, and give up things that matter to her, just to be safe! Or walk around afraid for her safety, at all! It’s not fair. It’s disgusting, and I hate it. Imagine walking into a parking lot, Brendan. Just picture that for a second. What do you do to make sure you’re safe? Nothing! As a man, you don’t even think about it. Well, I’m tired of this being a world where we women are tied up by invisible chains because some men see us as targets.”

Brendan sighs, pacing a couple steps in order to collect his argument. Finally, he looks at me from the corner of his eyes. “It’s not fair, Annie. You’re right. But you work in a job unlike most people’s. You work later hours, and we’re in a big city. We have to live in reality, not in a fantasy world where violence doesn’t happen. That’s why you’re taking Krav classes right?” I nod. “Well, I know what you’re saying is true. And that’s what we have to focus on. Because you are a target, it’s important to be safe, and until you can protect yourself again…” He sighs, closing his eyes. Lowering his voice, he turns and holds my eyes, wishing desperately for me to understand. “You don’t know what it is like to be a man and have your wife and baby in danger. You don’t know what it’s like for me,” he touches his chest, “when I think of that guy stalking you. Or any man touching you in any way. I want to kill them. And I don’t mean metaphorically. Please let me have Bobby come and take you home when I can’t, just for a little while. I’m begging you.”

Touched more than I can say, I surrender and take a deep, acquiescing breath. “I won’t work until the baby comes.”