Captive Mate - Eliot Grayson Page 0,37
can let him go.” Matthew didn’t move a muscle. “Or, you know, not, if that’s what floats your boat.”
“Go find Ian,” Matthew said, every word vibrating through me. “He’ll have felt that through your mate bond. Let him know you’re all right.”
“I’m fine, and I’m sure Ian will show up —”
“Go find Ian,” Matthew repeated through gritted teeth.
There was a short pause. Matthew still didn’t move. His fingers around my wrists were as hard and unyielding as Dor’s manacles, and his grip was just shy of hurting me. Of course, I could heal now, so he could be as rough as he wanted without leaving marks that would last more than a couple of hours at most…I swallowed hard.
“Oh,” Nate said. “Oh. Um. Much as I’d like to not see whatever it is you’re thinking about doing right now? Like, less than I’ve ever wanted to see anything in my life? Ian and I aren’t crazy about leaving you alone with him. Partly because of the stuff I don’t want to see.”
“Get out, Nate. Or I’m going to throw you out.”
I wondered how he was going to do that if he wasn’t planning on letting go of me — but then again, now I’d seen him fight. He could probably pull it off if anyone could.
I didn’t even know if I wanted him to get Nate to leave. I couldn’t stand the thought of looking Nate in the eye, not after losing to him again. Again. Like the first time hadn’t been humiliating enough. Now I knew he could match me, and it wasn’t a fluke.
On the other hand, the last time I’d been alone with Matthew in this room he’d nearly — and I realized, abruptly, that I simply didn’t care. He could fuck me. He could bite me. I’d be able to throw the mate bond off eventually. Probably. And in the meantime — what the fuck did it matter, anyway? It was him or Parker, it looked like, and given that binary, I’d play happy mates with Matthew until the end of time.
With some more grumbling under his breath, Nate finally left the room, shutting the door a little too hard behind him. I heard the quiet murmur of voices as he checked in with whoever was on guard outside the door.
And then it was just me and Matthew.
Chapter 10
You Always Have a Choice
Slowly, carefully, Matthew let go of my wrists and loosened the arm around me. I stood pliant, not fighting and not moving and not — anything at all. I didn’t have anything more in me.
He turned me in his arms. I leaned back against the wall, letting the cool breeze from the open window fan my burning cheeks and ruffle my long hair. It felt good. If I left my eyes closed I could almost pretend I was outside, somewhere far away from anywhere, somewhere no one could find me.
There was a huge boulder on a hill near where I’d lived as a kid, during those few years when everything was more or less all right. While my brother worked nights as a security guard, I’d shift and run out there, scrambling up to the top to gaze down at the world spread out beneath me. It was just a run-of-the-mill small town in northeastern Oregon, but it was my domain, and I’d stand there and let the wind rustle through my hair, or my fur, depending on whether I’d shifted or not, and feel the Earth turning beneath my feet. Just me and the stars.
It was quiet in this room, too, except for Matthew’s breaths. They were slow and even again. He was calm, and it was almost soothing.
“Earlier today,” he said quietly, and then stopped. He sighed. “Earlier today. Arik, will you look at me?”
His hands still rested on my waist, but he wasn’t holding me in place, just — holding me. My shirt had ridden up when he grabbed me, and his fingers pressed against the bare strip of my skin that had been exposed. His skin was hot, especially in comparison to the damp chill flowing through the window. The air smelled like rain, fresh and wild. Matthew smelled like the forest after a rain, earthy and even wilder — even a little dangerous.
“I’d rather not.” My voice was small, like every bit of me was trying to shrink into nothing and disappear.
“Please.”
I shook my head. What would I see if I looked at him? Nothing good. Nothing that would