Captain Jones's Temptation - Audrey Harrison Page 0,49

it is really. From almost the first moment of meeting you I was attracted to you. You are very handsome, you know.” She laughed, clearly embarrassed by her openness.

Matthew scowled. “You forget, I can see exactly how handsome I am every time I see my reflection in a looking-glass.”

“I hate it when you speak so,” Lydia said. “None of us are perfect. At least your imperfection was something someone inflicted on you. Most of us have to struggle from birth with our faults.”

Matthew laughed. “And what faults do you have? You are beautiful.”

“My nose is too small for the rest of my features. It makes my whole face look unbalanced. I am not blonde as is the fashion. I envy you your golden locks.”

“I see nothing but perfection when I look at you,” Matthew responded honestly.

“And yet you do not believe me when I say I see none of your imperfections.”

“Touché.”

“But to get back to your question. I have not thought of Luke very much in these last few weeks. In fact, I have thought of him very little.”

“Yet you told me you thought of him often and still missed him.” Matthew had to be sure of her before he spoke of what he was feeling.

“I had very deep feelings for Luke. I would not have agreed to marry him if I hadn’t loved him, and it felt my life was over when I heard of his death,” Lydia admitted. “I never thought I would meet anyone who stirred such an overwhelming love within me. I did not think I could be that fortunate, for I have little to bring to a union, but that was four years ago. I think it was natural that I continued to think of him with such regard and affection. Besides, my role does not give me many opportunities to meet other men. Do not think I repine of the fact, for I don’t. I was fully aware of what my life would be when I accepted Esther’s offer of a position. Then you arrived.”

“And now?”

Lydia was troubled. “You are forcing me to declare what I feel, but then I am open to disappointment, to censure. It isn’t appropriate for me to speak in this way.”

“I would hope never to fail you. I need you to be open and honest with me. A lot depends on it.”

Lydia returned to sit next to Matthew. He took her hand once more and brought it to his lips. Kissing it, he smiled at her. “Is there hope for me?”

“There is more than hope. I would rather say that there is complete certainty, but is this not because you feel weakened? I understand if it is, but please do not give me hope to then change your mind later. If you have any thought that this might be the effect of your illness, please refrain from saying more. I can understand how emotions can be mistaken when one is feeling not quite the thing,” Lydia said.

“It has nothing to do with what has happened, except that it was only the thought of you that kept me from falling asleep and remaining so in those early days. I came back to you, Lydia, because I have not been able to think of anyone else since the moment we were introduced.”

“I bring hardly anything of value to a match.”

“I don’t bring much either,” Matthew said. “I have no fortune to speak of. I am a second son, but I offer you my heart, and a little money as I do receive a small allowance from my father’s estate.” He smiled at Lydia. “Is it to be enough to persuade you to become my wife?”

Moving her hand so she cupped his face, she nodded. “It will be more than enough. If you are sure.”

“The only thing that has ever put doubt in my mind was the strength of your feelings for Luke. Call me vain, but I do not wish to be second in my wife’s affections.”

“You wouldn’t be. That I can promise you. Luke is a bittersweet memory, but it is you I hold in my heart. No other.” It was true. Little by little, Matthew had been creeping into a heart she had been sure would not pound in excitement again. The hours they had shared, he at the edge of the classroom, she seeking him out when the children were occupied, had built up a bond that neither had expected. During the evenings, they had been able to