Blue snorts at me while slathering some mayo on bread and slapping the cheese on after it. “Good luck with that. Love is the last thing that most dudes are looking for.”
I frown. “Well, that’s not very romantic. What do they have against love?”
Blue finishes up by adding some thick slices of meat. “That is an excellent question. And most of them will tell you the same stupid ass answer. They don’t want to be tied down to someone. Like being in a relationship is akin to them getting hog-tied and held against their will.” She cuts the sandwiches in half with way more aggression than necessary. “Commitment freaks them out. But what that really means is they want to be able to get their dick wet by whoever and whenever they want.”
“Huh. Warren doesn’t seem like that, but maybe he is scared of commitment.”
Blue nods as she finishes up and slides a plate over to me. “Yep, I bet that’s exactly what his problem is. So what are you gonna do?
I consider this as I pick at the nuts in the bread. “Well, if he has commitment issues, I can work with that. But I have to get him a date first. And I kind of already told him that I had one lined up for him tonight at six.”
Blue eyes me as she starts eating. “But you don’t?”
“Not exactly, no.”
“Hmm. That’s a problem.”
I sit up straighter and eye Blue carefully while she shoves a massive bite of sandwich into her mouth. She looks like a chipmunk storing nuts for winter.
Catching me studying her, she pauses as she licks her fingers. “Why are you looking at me like that?”
A slow smile spreads across my face.
Her eyes widen, and she starts shaking her head adamantly and chewing as fast as she can. “No. Hell no. I’m not doing it.”
“Please?” I beg. “I don’t know anybody else.”
She gives me a look. “Girl, you don’t even know me.”
“Of course I do; we live together.”
She snorts. “Yeah, since about five minutes ago.”
“That’s not important,” I say quickly. “What is important is that you’re pretty, young, and readily available. Plus, I can properly prime you. You’re the perfect candidate to help me get my foot in the door with him and make him practice. He needs serious help to not totally suck at dating.”
“I don’t date,” she tells me. “I’m on a self-imposed hiatus. When I’m feeling thirsty, I just do one night stands to feed the V monster.”
“That’s okay,” I say quickly. “See, it doesn’t have to be a real date. I just need someone that I trust to go out with him so I can coach him. He needs a trial run so that I can teach him how to behave. I’ll stay with you the whole time.”
“And he agreed to this?” she asks dubiously.
“I sort of just told him.”
Based on the clock on the stove, I can see it’s nearly three o’clock already. If Blue turns me down, I won’t have enough time to find a replacement date. I really need her to be in on this with me.
“Please,” I implore. There might be some bottom lip action. I’m not above begging.
She sighs. “I dunno...” she says, taking another overly large bite of her sandwich. She glances down at my untouched food. “Aren’t you going to eat?”
“Oh, yeah. Of course.” I lift up half of the sandwich and make sure to take a very appreciative bite while I try to gauge whether or not I’ve convinced her yet.
The second I start chewing, my nose wrinkles of its own volition, and my tongue tries to shove the food back out. “Uh, what kind of sandwich is this?” I ask around the mouthful.
Food always looked amazing while I was in the Veil, and eating was such an event for people. They planned their whole days around it sometimes. It always made me a little envious when I watched them enjoy it. But this sandwich...this is not good. I don’t get what all the fuss was about.
“Oh, sorry,” she says. “I should’ve warned you. It’s vegan. We don’t eat any animal products.”
“Oh. Okay.” I say as I keep chewing, wondering if it’s supposed to taste like this on purpose.
She looks at me expectantly. “What do you think?”
Is that a trick question? I’m not sure, but I panic. “Uh, it’s kind of like the way I would imagine squishy wood tastes?”