Cammie Healy - Jennifer Foor Page 0,41
that person.”
“You really had a crush on me? I can’t remember even being nice to you when we were kids. You and Josh annoyed the hell out of me.”
Wes played with the mud in his hand, then, without any kind of fair warning he smashed it into my cheek.
Shocked that he’d do something so irrational, I picked up a hunk and tossed it in his direction. He ducked out of the way, laughing the whole time. “Sorry, it was payback for the way you treated me years ago.” He kept cracking up, even after I managed to plant a large chuck across the front of his V-neck.
“That was years ago.”
“You reminded me. It was only fair.”
“Says who?”
He started coming toward me, making me alarmed he was armed with another large mound of mud. I began backing away, only to lose my balance and fall on my ass. His hand extended for me to take. As soon as mine was placed in it, he was pulling me back up to my feet, nearly inches from being in his arms. “I know you’re only here for a short time, and I promised myself I’d let this go, but being here with you is only making it worse.”
“What?” I asked, even though I was sure I already knew. My stomach was knotted up and my fingers were beginning to tingle. This wasn’t my teacher who I needed to be nervous with. This was someone who I’d known since childhood. I was in a safe place, surrounded by people who loved me. Right before his mouth opened to answer I placed my fingers over it. “It’s better if you don’t say anything, Wes. You and I both know I can’t allow myself the comforts of being with someone who may or may not actually like me.” I had to turn away as I continued. “James made me do things I’m not proud of. I hate the person I’ve become.”
His hands grazed my arms gently as he responded. “Like what? Why do you think you can’t come back from what you’ve done?”
“It will never be the same. If I told you, you’d run as far away from me as possible.”
“Yeah, I don’t see that happening. Look, I’ve been with my fair share of women. Maybe I’m just as bad. Until you let down your walls and let me be your friend you’re never going to know the truth.”
“Are you a philosopher? A psychiatrist?” He sure did have good answers.
“No. I’m just someone who’s been around the block a time or two. “
“He took me to places,” I began to confess. “He liked having sex in public. He wanted to be watched.”
He raised and brow. A ornery smirk filled his face. “Is that it?”
I shrugged. “He took me to a sex club where we fucked in front of people.”
I watched him take a deep breath, as if he was imagining it all in head to prepare for the best response. “So, did you like it?”
I never took my eyes off his as I answered. “Yes.”
His hand caught me off, extending to brush across my cheek. “I slept with my friends mom when I spent the night. Her husband was away on business, and she came onto me. I felt like shit afterwards and eventually severed ties with the guy. To this day he still doesn’t know it happened.”
“But you regret it?”
His grimace was hard to interpret. “I didn’t say it wasn’t amazing. She was experienced. I’ve never been with another woman like her.”
“Are you making this up to appease me?” Wes was nice enough to do something in that manner to make me feel less disgraceful.
“No. I’m telling you the truth. Actually, I’ve never told anyone.”
In that moment I let my guard down. He wasn’t my enemy. Wes was trying to help me manage my undeniable qualms about my recent relationship. I could see myself getting lost in him and it scared me. It was too soon to be this attracted to another man. Doing so would only make me feel like a whore. “Thank you for sharing that with me.”
“I like to watch too, as long as I get to participate. I’m selfish. I always get what I want.”
I let out an air-filled laugh. “And what you want right now is me, right?”
“I’d be lying if I said the thought hasn’t crossed my mind.”
“My sister likes you Wes. She lives here. It would be easier for you to have a relationship with her. I don’t