A California Christmas (Silver Springs #7) - Brenda Novak Page 0,129
really want to deny yourself the possibility?” Seth asked.
Some things were more important than climbing. He understood that. But what they didn’t understand was that he didn’t deserve to be that happy. Poor Jenny had lost her life protecting him. Somehow grabbing hold of what he felt for Emery seemed too greedy—almost like a betrayal.
“She’ll be better off without me,” he said, handing the boarding pass back to Aiyana.
“See?” Ryan piped up. “I told you. Good thing we got him some other stuff, too.”
“Can we open our presents now?” Liam asked.
With a disgusted shake of his head, Seth started for the door. “How about we go back to bed and start this day over in a couple of hours?”
Aiyana was obviously disappointed, but she didn’t say so. “Okay. We’ll let you sleep.”
They all left, but when they were gone and Dallas was free to roll over and go back to sleep, he felt like throwing up—like the terrified little boy he’d been hiding under his sister’s bed. They didn’t know how deeply that had affected him, that he still had nightmares about it and felt so guilty about Jenny there were times when he felt he could scarcely breathe.
With a curse, he got up and paced across the floor. He couldn’t give in, couldn’t go to Boston. He’d only mess it up. He wasn’t capable of giving Emery what she needed, and he sure as hell didn’t deserve her.
But as the clock ticked away, and he heard footsteps on the floor above him and exclamations from his brothers as they teased and joked and enjoyed the holiday, a small voice—Jenny’s voice—seemed to say: Do it, Dallas. Don’t let what I did go to waste.
Tears streamed down his face as he closed his eyes and tried to listen closer. “Is that you?” he whispered, “Looking out for me again?” and felt such a tremendous warmth go through him that he couldn’t believe any other way.
He sank onto the bed, trying to hang on to what he felt. It left soon after, but he knew what he had to do—what he had to be brave enough to do. “Wait a second!” he called, coming to his feet and charging up the stairs. “Where’s that boarding pass? I’m going.”
They converged on him as soon as he reached the living room.
“Seriously?” Ryan said when Aiyana, her smile wide, handed Dallas the boarding pass.
Seth leaned against the doorframe wearing a self-satisfied grin. “That’s what he should’ve done in the first place.”
Dallas hoped Seth was right. As he headed back downstairs to get showered and packed, his heart was pounding harder than when he was executing a tricky and highly dangerous move high above the valley of Yosemite. They’d awakened him so early because it would take time to make the flight. He needed to hurry.
He was ready within an hour, so he was able to take the time to have breakfast and open presents with his family. Knowing he was going to see Emery changed everything about how he’d been feeling. He was happier than he’d ever been, which still somehow made him feel guilty.
Trying to suppress that reaction wasn’t easy, but he shoved it away as much as he could. After fending off the teasing and many jokes he’d suffered for acting so tough and then caving in, he was laughing when he opened the door to carry out his suitcase. He was going to put it in Seth’s car while his brother finished getting ready, since Seth was the one who was driving him to the airport.
But he didn’t make it past the threshold. There was an older man coming up the walk wearing brand-new jeans and a plaid flannel shirt. With his hair shaved so close to his head and all the changes nearly a quarter of a century had wrought in his face and body, he looked different, but Dallas easily recognized him.
It was his father.
* * *
Aiyana had had such a wonderful week. Her wedding had been beautiful, her honeymoon romantic and relaxing, and, so far, Christmas had been spectacular. She was excited to think that Dallas might finally allow himself to fall in love and grow some roots, especially because she really liked Emery. Aiyana thought she might soon have another daughter-in-law and was singing along to “White Christmas” while helping the twins pick up all the discarded wrapping paper when she heard the angry shouting that brought all of her holiday cheer to an abrupt halt.