This Burns My Heart Page 0,60

“HANA!” And then again, “HANA! HANA!”

Soo-Ja heard back the sound of her own child yelling back, “Eomma! Eomma!”

Within seconds, Soo-Ja saw her daughter burst out of the door and run toward the gate. The toddler was completely naked, like a newborn, her eyes bloodshot with tears and her cheeks swollen red. Yul quickly lifted the latch from the outside and tried to open the metal gate, but it did not give way. Soo-Ja thrust her arms in the direction of her child, only a foot away but impossibly far, as Hana wailed and screamed, piercing Soo-Ja’s heart with the sound. Hana kept stomping her bare feet on the ground. She shook her arms in the air, in utter despair.

“Get the gate open! Get it open, Yul!” Soo-Ja cried out.

Hana’s entire face was wet with tears, and her mouth was wide open, dribble slipping from her chin. Yul finally got the gate to release, and as soon as he did so, Soo-Ja swooped in and lifted Hana into her arms. Hana practically fled into her mother’s grasp, climbing onto her, horribly frightened. Her cries grew even louder once she reached Soo-Ja, and her little round body began to shake. Soo-Ja quickly wrapped her scarf around Hana. Yul also hurriedly took off his jacket and placed it over her like a blanket.

As Soo-Ja held the child in her arms, she felt her own cheeks quickly become wet with tears. Her heart beat against her insides like a fist. She could not believe it. She had Hana back. She began to quiver, all the emotion finally coming out of her.

“Eomma! Eomma!” the child cried, between big, hungry gulps of breath. Her little fingers were tearing at her mother’s neck and shoulders, afraid of losing her once again. Hana grabbed at Soo-Ja’s blouse, gluing herself to her. Her tiny hands were clenched so tightly they shook. Even though Soo-Ja held her firmly, Hana still kept reaching madly for her, her fingers clutching her arms, digging into her mother’s skin.

“I’m sorry, baby, eomma’s here, eomma’s here!” said Soo-Ja, almost gasping for air. She looked at her daughter’s face—the mouth howling in anguish, the nose overrun with snot. But what almost destroyed her was seeing the look of fear in her eyes—Hana looked terrified that her mother might leave her again. Soo-Ja covered her own face with her free hand, so full of shame was she for not having protected her daughter.

It was then that the man came outside, followed by two boys, one around age six, the other a little older, maybe ten. Wearing a windbreaker over his beige long johns, he did not look like a kidnapper. He was the most ordinary-looking person Soo-Ja had ever seen. He looked at her with confusion on his face, as if he couldn’t imagine who she was, or what she was doing at his doorstep at midnight.

Yul moved forward toward him, making his presence known. Soo-Ja saw the two little boys cower, and she moved between Yul and the man. Soo-Ja turned to face Yul and shook her head. This was her fight. Hana was her daughter. If someone was to have the satisfaction of questioning this man, it would be she.

“Who are you? What are you doing here? You know what time it is?” the man asked, pointing at them.

Soo-Ja could see him better now: he was tall, in his early forties, with beady eyes and a hangdog expression on his face. His name, she found out later, was Dae-Jung. “I am this child’s mother!” Soo-Ja barked at him. “And why is she naked? If I find out that you hurt her, I swear I’ll kill you!”

“You’re her mother? I don’t believe you. Look at the way you’re making her cry.” Dae-Jung made as if to take her back, but Soo-Ja immediately turned her body to the side, shielding Hana.

“You have no business believing or not believing. She is my daughter. And you, you are a kkang-pae, kkang-pae. We have to call the police. Right now!” Soo-Ja was yelling at him. If Hana had not been in her arms, she would have punched him in the face.

“Call them. Call them. All I’ve done is rescue this child who was dumped on the street,” he said, looking at Soo-Ja with contempt, his head slightly raised.

“Dumped?” Soo-Ja spat the word out, stung by it. She would have expected Dae-Jung to either run away or bow in shame. Never this.

“Yes. Dumped. You said you’re the girl’s mother? What kind