This Burns My Heart Page 0,23

as his wife, thought Soo-Ja. Otherwise, he would be destroying her life. So this could work to her advantage…

Finally, when Min tried to lift up her skirt for a second time, Soo-Ja did not stop him. Min held her arms up over her head, against the floor, as if stretching her, and let his fingers interlace with hers. They continued kissing, and as the kisses grew more intense, Soo-Ja closed her eyes and felt herself floating. Their bodies were moving to the same rhythm, him pressing up and down against her, and she enjoyed a lulling sensation, as if the two of them were rising from the earth and swirling in the air, toward the rain beating down on their flesh.

Bang, bang, bang, sounded the wooden drums.

Min and his friends, chanting loudly and playing music, could be heard for miles as they carried the wedding chest down the street. Soo-Ja watched as the men came closer, though still a block away. They all wore male hanboks—loose-fitting gray pantaloons on the bottom, and blue jackets with wide sleeves on top, fastened at the chest with ribbons. They walked proudly, in step, chanting. One of them held up a jwa-go drum with the symbol of the flag drawn on it, and he’d beat at it with a stick at the end of each chant.

“Buy the hahm! Buy the hahm!” they called out.

Min followed right behind them, also wearing a hanbok—it was the first time Soo-Ja had seen him don traditional costume. Min favored Western suits, always neatly tailored and freshly iron-pressed. But the hanbok, with its vibrant blue and yellow colors, fit him well, and as he marched toward her house, she felt a sudden glee, as if this were a complete surprise, and not something she already knew about and had prepared for.

“What’s this ruckus?” a neighbor across the street called out, looking sleepy and confused. “Did somebody die?”

“No, somebody’s getting married soon,” Soo-Ja said, smiling.

“You’re getting married?” the neighbor asked. “To which one of them?”

“To all of them!” said Soo-Ja.

Soo-Ja saw another woman come out from the same house, an old lady with wizened lines on her tired-looking face, wearing a light blue hanbok with red chogori jacket. “The groom sings out loud and strong. That is a good sign. It means he will have vigor and stamina for the first night!” she said, and then began clapping and nodding her head.

“Good,” Soo-Ja replied. “I plan on making him do a lot of work around the house that night.”

Soo-Ja ran back inside and went into the kitchen, careful to go down one step, since the kitchen was a foot lower than the rest of the house. There, the servants were putting the final touches on the rice cake they would present the men with once they reached their house. The confection, covered with adzuki beans, was meant to symbolize luck and harmony. Soo-Ja was not particularly fond of tteok—it was not sweet enough, and too powdery and sticky for her taste. But a celebration wasn’t a celebration without them.

As the servants walked the tteok to the middle hallway—which wasn’t really a hallway but a large, empty room connecting the other ones—Soo-Ja and her mother positioned themselves on the yellow floor, along with two of her aunts. At that moment, Soo-Ja felt her father’s absence, as well as Jae-Hwa’s. Jae-Hwa, who’d been surprised to hear news of the engagement, had said she would come, but had not, in the end. Soo-Ja could still remember the sting of her friend’s words the last time she’d spoken to her, when Jae-Hwa accused Soo-Ja of not really being in love with Min. Soo-Ja hadn’t told Jae-Hwa about her night of passion—Jae-Hwa would have been shocked.

As they came close to the house, the men’s loud, hungry voices vibrated through the thin walls, shaking the floor beneath them. But when the servants opened the sliding doors, revealing the men to the women, all became silence.

The men lowered the wedding chest onto the ground and bowed ceremoniously. The women, already sitting, bowed, too. Then, the men took their upturned, boat-shaped rubber shoes off and walked the wedding chest up the two steps toward the room. They placed it immediately before her mother.

In exchange for the wedding chest, Soo-Ja’s mother handed the groomsmen a white envelope filled with cash. Going against custom, Min’s friends did not negotiate—they had been instructed by Min not to try. And Soo-Ja’s mother did not negotiate, either—she had been instructed by Soo-Ja not