This Burns My Heart Page 0,107

lots have been valued, and priced. But…. there are rumors.”

“What kind of rumors?” Soo-Ja asked, furrowing her brow.

“I can’t talk about it,” said Gi-yong, his voice growing a little hushed. “I don’t want to raise anyone’s hopes if it doesn’t happen. But the people are getting restless. New elections are inevitable, and the President’s under a lot of pressure to do more for the cities. This whole saemaul undong movement to improve the countryside sure sounds nifty, but the government can’t expect people to stay away from the cities. You know the saying, ‘If you have a son, send him to Seoul.’”

“Well, that sounds very promising,” said Soo-Ja, and she could hear the understatement in her own voice.

Gi-yong laughed. “By the way, are you going to tell me who your silent partner is?”

Soo-Ja swallowed. “Good-bye, Mr. Im.”

Soo-Ja knocked lightly on Yul’s door. When she got no answer, she hesitated, and then pulled out her master key. She went into the room, only to find it dark, with no one inside. Yul was gone, and so were his things. Before she could grasp what happened, Soo-Ja saw her daughter appear next to her, touching her arm lightly. Soo-Ja looked at her daughter’s oval face, her eyes shining intently at her.

“They checked out a couple of hours ago,” said Hana.

“They’re gone?” asked Soo-Ja, taking in the emptiness of the room.

“Yes. Yul left this for you.”

Hana handed her mother a note, and when Soo-Ja opened it, she read the words Don’t forget me. Trembling, Soo-Ja closed the note again, the meaning of the words etching themselves into her skin.

As she exited the room, Soo-Ja noticed that Hana looked upset. She wondered how much her daughter knew about Yul and her. Children, Soo-Ja believed, had a sixth sense about such things. Soo-Ja tried to think of some explanation to offer her. It had to serve many purposes: it had to keep her from going to her father; it had to prevent the wound from scarring; it had to get her to forgive her for a deed she hadn’t done.

“I’m glad he’s gone,” said Hana. “I don’t like him.”

“Why don’t you like him?” Soo-Ja asked cautiously.

“He cheated on his wife, Mom,” said Hana. In her voice, Soo-Ja could hear she was half accusing her and half testing the words.

“No, he didn’t,” Soo-Ja corrected her, deciding that she wouldn’t pretend not to know what Hana was hinting at. “He was loyal to her.”

“He is a bad man,” said Hana.

“Don’t say that, Hana. It’s not true. He’s a good man. Don’t say bad things about Yul, please,” said Soo-Ja. She realized she would not get a chance to thank him. She’d just have to add that to the list of things she’d never get to say to him.

chapter fifteen

With Yul gone, Soo-Ja began to think of him even more often. She imagined him next to her, offering that sad-hopeful smile of his as she did the most mundane of tasks. How is it possible that Yul cannot be mine, when the pain of his absence feels like a cave inside my heart?

Soo-Ja could tell no one about her feelings—Yul was a secret, the way any great love was, to some extent, a secret. But when she asked her own self, she heard the words loud and clear: You are not finished with him, and he is not finished with you. Even if you two wanted to, you could not fight this longing. Which led, of course, to the one person who’d most like to see the end of the bond between them: once, always, forever, Eun-Mee.

“Hana’s mother, what are you doing this afternoon? It’s Saturday, and it’s the eve of the lunar festival. Surely you can’t be working!” Eun-Mee stood before Soo-Ja in her fur coat, with a light pink embroidered top underneath and a long, flowing skirt. Soo-Ja put away her guest book, taken aback by her presence at the hotel.

“Happy New Year,” said Soo-Ja drily.

“Happy New Year,” said Eun-Mee. “Now, I know you may want to get a head start driving home for the holidays, but I’m inviting you and your husband to come to our house for tea, and to celebrate the Lunar New Year. You’ve been hearing about these renovations for so long, I’m sure you must be curious about the final result.”

“You want me to come to your house?” asked Soo-Ja, in disbelief. She had made the mistake of trusting Eun-Mee before, but never again.

Eun-Mee kept her voice even, as if she