Burnout - Coralee June Page 0,9

I kept it folded and hidden away.

“I travel light,” I replied with a wink, determined to change the subject once again with lightheartedness. Decker just stood there with his arms crossed over his chest in deep disapproval. I could practically see more of his questions forming at the tip of his tongue. “I brought this for you, actually,” I added before picking up the photo and walking it over to Lance. It was one of the last things Mama gave me. Seemed fitting her last gift would benefit someone else and not the daughter that took care of her. Mama was always chasing other opportunities, other endings. It was easier than facing the reality of her situation, I supposed. In another reality, she had a son she loved. In this photo, she was a selfless mother, doing right by her kid.

The picture was of her at sixteen, in a hospital gown with a proud smile on her face, like she was the fucking Virgin Mary. She was cradling a newborn baby wrapped up in a blue hospital blanket, with her sweaty hair pulled back. I remember feeling confused for a moment when she’d shown it to me. The picture was worn and creased like she spent a lot of time looking at it. There were even lipstick stains on the back as if she’d used it as a napkin at one point. It wasn’t until she whispered Lance’s name that it clicked. Of course it was him. We didn’t really have photos of the two of us. Hell, I honestly had never seen a baby photo of myself. And yet she held on to this little piece of Lance. Maybe it made her feel good.

I handed it to him before wrapping my arms around myself, not really knowing what to say or do. This was uncharted territory, and after being on my own for so long, it felt weird to share a piece of my mother that seemed foreign to me. She wasn’t the doting mother. Wasn’t the maternal sort. She just was.

My large bedroom started to feel small with Decker and Lance staring at me like they were waiting for me to say something. I stumbled through my words as I explained. “She kept a photo of the two of you. I figured you’d want to have it.” Tthe moment it left my fingers, it was like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I was free of the photo. Free of her.

When Lance flipped the glossy, stained picture over, his eyes turned misty with an emotion I wish I could experience. “This is of us?” he choked out while stroking the edge of it with his thumb, awe flooding his expression.

“Yes,” I whispered.

“I don’t even know what to say. Thank you, Blakely. This is the best... I’m just speechless.”

“It’s the least I could do. You really helped a lot with the funeral and fixing my car. And now you’re letting me stay here until I get on my feet,” I replied with a sigh. “I wanted to talk to you about that actually. I’m going to start job hunting soon, so I won’t be here for too long.” My bedroom was incredible, but I still didn’t feel right about staying. Decker’s cruel greeting was still ringing clearly in my mind. I didn’t want to be accused of abusing the privilege of Lance’s kindness. Maybe it was because I was so desperate to be everything Mama wasn’t. My jaded past clouded my judgement

“You’re leaving?” Lance stuttered before dropping this hands to his side, the photo was quickly forgotten. “I thought you’d at least stay for your senior year. Is there something wrong with the room? We can change anything to fit your liking. Hell, I can take you right now to pick out furniture and new bedding. Shit, I knew I should have waited to ask what you wanted.”

He was rambling now and using his free hand to run his fingers through his blond hair. Decker saw his opportunity and immediately spoke up. “She told me before you got here that she’s not planning on attending school. Was going to get her GED and go straight to work,” Decker scoffed. I could hear the disbelief in his tone, and I wanted to whirl around and punch his sexy self in the fucking jaw.

“Is that true?” Lance asked in a small voice. He looked unsure as his eyes peered at the ground, and surprisingly, I could feel his hurt.