Burnout - Coralee June Page 0,76
be bothered to see her daughter’s straight A’s. There was only one rule in her house: Wrap it up. She bought condoms in bulk and put me on the pill when I started my period. I’m not having a kid any time soon.”
Dad squirmed in his chair, his face twisted in pure agony like I’d stabbed him in the eye with my fork. “Okay, okay, I get it!” he whined before scrubbing his hands down his face. “Please, say no more.”
I smirked before plopping a chicken tender in my mouth, slowly chewing it before swallowing. “Have you ever liked someone bad for you?” I asked, then immediately regretted my decision.
Mama. Mama was bad for Dad. Mama was the reason he ended up in prison. When I was eight years old, Mama and Dad got the bright idea to rob a store. Mama convinced him it would put food on the table, told him that if they didn’t want me ending up in the system, they’d have to provide for me. The road to prison was paved with good intentions, and when the cops showed up, Mama sped off in the getaway car, leaving Dad behind while claiming she had a kid to raise. She didn’t give two shits about me; she just didn’t want to get caught.
“Never mind, don’t answer that,” I said while looking out the window. I didn’t want to hash out all the things that twisted Dad up inside. He would have gone to the ends of the earth for her, and in many ways, he did. She was just too selfish to see.
“I can’t believe I’m giving you boy advice. I might be rusty, but I’ll give it a shot, okay?” Dad offered while taking a large gulp of his Diet Coke.
“This is gonna be good,” I teased while leaning back in my seat and crossing my arms over my chest.
“Men are pigs,” Dad began. I snorted. “We’re wrong most of the time. And we are stupid. We don’t know what’s good for us, and we make poor decisions.”
“This is the best speech ever, old man,” I said with a giggle.
“But sometimes we find someone that makes us want to be…better. Someone that makes us think. Someone that makes us want to be right—do the right thing. If they become better by being in your presence, they’re good for you.” I let his words saturate my soul for a minute. What about me? Did Decker make me a better person? He encouraged me to voice my truth. Demanded I go to school and further my education. He put aside this…thing…between us so that I could have a shot at a real relationship with Lance that wasn’t burdened by our taboo relationship. He held my hair when I puked.
Maybe I was the bad influence in our relationship.
“What if they think that staying away is what’s better?” I asked.
“Then you have to respect it. Men are selfish. We take, take, and then take some more. We’re fucking conquerors. Just read a history book.” I nodded, understanding what he was saying. “So if he’s willing to not be selfish for your well-being, then hell, I actually approve of this guy.”
“What if I’m the one that wants to be selfish?” I asked before slurping on my drink and maintaining eye contact with Dad. He rolled his eyes.
“Then I’d tell you to stop being a man. You know, we thought you were a boy for like six months? Faulty sonogram. You’ve got that big dick energy, kid. Put that shit away and do what’s right.”
I spurted Coke out my nose while choking on laughter. It burned my nostrils, and I had to grab the stack of napkins in the middle of the table to wipe my face. “Did you just say I have big dick energy? I can’t even with that. Are you reading quotes on Pinterest again?” I snorted while trying to calm my breathing.
“I told you that I’m trying to get hip with the lingo!” Dad exclaimed with a laugh. On one of our calls, he explained that he finally bought a smartphone and was enjoying researching recipes on Pinterest. It was adorable, and I teased him about it whenever I could. “Ten years is a long time to be on the inside. I still don’t understand this Yeet business.”
“I don’t think anyone does,” I snickered.
The front door to the restaurant opened, and in walked three men decked out in all leather with their heads shaved. They looked sketchy