The Burglar Who Painted Like Mondrian - By Lawrence Block Page 0,85

early on how much the cat liked Alison.”

“Yeah, animals are great judges of character. Bernie, were you gonna tell me all this?”

“Well—”

“Either you were or you weren’t.”

“Well, I wasn’t sure. You seemed to be having a good time with Alison and I figured I’d let the relationship run its course before I said anything.”

“I think it’s run its course.” She knocked back the rest of her drink and sighed philosophically. “Listen, I got my cat back,” she said, “and I had a little excitement, and Alison was a big help at the Hewlett. I don’t know if I could have managed the firecracker and the fire and everything without her. And I got laid, so why should I hold a grudge?”

“That’s about how I felt about Andrea.”

“Plus I might want to see her again.”

“That’s exactly how I felt about Andrea.”

“Right. So I came out of it okay.”

“Don’t forget the reward.”

“Huh?”

“From the insurance company. The $35,000. Ray’s getting half of what’s left after Wally takes his fee, and the rest gets cut up between you and Denise.”

“Why?”

“Because you both worked for it. Denise labored like Michelangelo on the Sistine Chapel, and you risked arrest at the Hewlett, and for that you get rewarded.”

“What about you, Bern?”

“I’ve got Appling’s stamps, remember? And his wife’s ruby earrings, except I don’t think they’re rubies. I think they’re spinels. And it’s funny, I almost feel bad about keeping them, but how could I put them back? If there’s one thing I’m sure of it’s that I’m never going to break into the Charlemagne again.”

“I forgot about the stamps.”

“Well, I’m going to sell them,” I said, “and then we can all forget about them.”

“Good idea.” Her fingers drummed the tabletop. “You stole those stamps before any of this happened,” she said. “Well, almost. While you were breaking into Appling’s apartment, Barlow was murdering Onderdonk. That gives me a chill to think about.”

“Me too, when you put it that way.”

“But most of what happened came after you took the stamps, and you didn’t get anything for that part of it. You just spent a lot of money and had to post bond.”

“I’ll get the bond back. I’ll have paid a fee to the bondsman, but that’s no big deal. Wally won’t charge me anything, not with all the business I threw his way. And I had a few incidental expenses, from cab rides to the icepick I planted in Jacobi’s room.”

“And the chloral hydrate you planted in Onderdonk’s apartment.”

“That wasn’t chloral hydrate. That was talcum powder.”

“The cop said it tasted like chloral hydrate.”

“And Ray said there was a voiceprint record of Jacobi’s telephone tip, and that there was blood on the icepick. This may come as a shock, Carolyn, but cops have been known to tell lies.”

“It’s a shock, all right. Anyway, you had expenses, and all you get is your freedom.”

“So?”

“So don’t you want part of the reward? Thirty-five thousand less Wally’s fee’ll be what? Thirty thousand?”

“Call it that. I don’t know if he’ll dare grab off that much, but lawyers are hard to figure.”

“Thirty grand less half to Ray leaves fifteen, and if we cut that three ways it’s five apiece, and that’s plenty. Why don’t you take a third, Bern?”

I shook my head. “I got the stamps,” I said, “and that’s plenty. And I got something else, too.”

“What? A shot at Andrea and a shot at Eve DeGrasse? Big deal.”

“Something else.”

“What?”

“I’ll give you a hint,” I said. “It’s all right angles and primary colors, and I’m going to hang it over my couch. I think that’s the best place for it.”

“Bernie!”

“I told you,” I said. “The Mondrian’s with its rightful owner. And who do you know who’s got a better right to it?”

And I’ll tell you something. It looks gorgeous there.

About the Author

A Mystery Writers of America Grand Master, LAWRENCE BLOCK is a four-time winner of the Edgar® and Shamus awards, as well as a recipient of prizes in France, Germany, and Japan. He also received the British Crime Writers’ Association’s prestigious Cartier Diamond Dagger for lifetime achievement in crime writing. The author of more than fifty books and numerous short stories, he is a devout New Yorker and enthusiastic world traveler. You can visit his website at www.lawrenceblock.com.

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Enthusiastic praise for

THE BURGLAR WHO PAINTED LIKE

MONDRIAN

and New York Times

bestselling Grand Master

LAWRENCE BLOCK’s

BERNIE RHODENBARR

“Wonderful…Hilarious dialogue and characters you wish you could invite over for supper. Block is a hoot, plain and simple.”

USA Today

“The writing is bright and sophisticated, with a touch of Donald Westlake, and the book is a lot of fun.”

New York Times Book Review

“It’s the mark of an innovative storyteller to turn a normally reprehensible character into a hero—of sorts. Author Lawrence Block’s

Bernie the burglar series aren’t just good mysteries, they are supreme escapism.”

Ft. Lauderdale Sun-Sentinel

“Lawrence Block is a master of the art of the mystery…Bernie’s a great burglar and a funny guy.”

New Orleans Times-Picayune

“Delightful.”

San Antonio Express News

“There are reasons why Lawrence Block is called ‘grand master’…Even if the perps strolled free, nothing would be lost just by picking locks with

Bernie. He’s that entertaining.”

New York Daily News

“Bernie Rhodenbarr is the perfect companion if you’re spending a week at the beach, catching a plane to Omaha, or just seeking an escape from the demands of the day.”

Tampa Tribune

“The funniest of the Bernie Rhodenbarr series, even if you don’t know Mondrian from Cristo.”

Buffalo News

“Fun…witty…certain to be popular with fans of [the] series, but new readers will find [it] accessible and enjoyable.”

Indianapolis Star

“Have you read Block’s [Rhodenbarr] mysteries?

You should. They are a real kick.”

Denver Rocky Mountain News

“Rhodenbarr is one of the slickest characters in crime, and Block…one of the most talented writers.”

Houston Chronicle

“Having a burglar for a hero is tricky, to say the least. Is he a bad good guy or a good bad guy, and does crime pay or doesn’t it?…Block maneuvers around these moral S-curves with great agility…Block’s effortless first-person narrative and zippy dialogue is as pleasing as escapist fare ever gets.”

Los Angeles Times Book Review

“Lawrence Block has been around for a long time and written a lot of books…but our favorites are probably those featuring Bernie Rhodenbarr.”

Denver Post

“Readers feel as if they’re catching up on the progress of very well-drawn characters whom they’ve come to think of as chums…

It’s the snappy patter that moves Block’s burglar books along…His characters, and especially Bernie, make wonderful wisecracks.”

Washington Post Book World

“One of his better Bernie Rhodenbarr mysteries.”

Chattanooga Times

Books by Lawrence Block

The Bernie Rhodenbarr Mysteries

BURGLARS CAN’T BE CHOOSERS • THE BURGLAR IN THE CLOSET • THE BURGLAR WHO LIKED TO QUOTE KIPLING • THE BURGLAR WHO STUDIED SPINOZA • THE BURGLAR WHO PAINTED LIKE MONDRIAN • THE BURGLAR WHO TRADED TED WILLIAMS • THE BURGLAR WHO THOUGHT HE WAS BOGART • THE BURGLAR IN THE LIBRARY • THE BURGLAR IN THE RYE • THE BURGLAR ON THE PROWL

The Matthew Scudder Novels

THE SINS OF THE FATHERS • TIME TO MURDER AND CREATE • IN THE MIDST OF DEATH • A STAB IN THE DARK • EIGHT MILLION WAYS TO DIE • WHEN THE SACRED GINMILL CLOSES • OUT ON THE CUTTING EDGE • A TICKET TO THE BONEYARD • A DANCE AT THE SLAUGHTERHOUSE • A WALK AMONG THE TOMBSTONES • THE DEVIL KNOWS YOU’RE DEAD • A LONG LINE OF DEAD MEN • EVEN THE WICKED • EVERYBODY DIES • HOPE TO DIE • ALL THE FLOWERS ARE DYING

Keller’s Greatest Hits

HIT MAN • HIT LIST • SMALL TOWN

Collected Short Stories

ENOUGH ROPE

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously and are not to be construed as real. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, organizations, or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

THE BURGLAR WHO PAINTED LIKE MONDRIAN. Copyright © 1983 by Lawrence BlockAll rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the non-exclusive, non-transferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, down-loaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins e-books.

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