The Burglar on the Prowl - By Lawrence Block Page 0,55
up,” I said.
“Not at all, Bern. What I did do is sit up.”
“Sit up?”
“And take notice. I got there first, but only by a minute or two. I walked right into the lobby of the Algonquin, just like Dorothy Parker and Robert Benchley before me.”
“And Alexander Woollcott, and George S. Kaufman…”
“And all those guys, right. So I took a table in the lobby, and this waiter straight out of a London men’s club came over and asked me what I wanted to drink, and I didn’t know.”
“That’s a first.”
“Well, there’s a bar off the lobby, where you’d go for a drink, and there’s the lobby, where people meet for tea. Now most of the people having tea were actually having it in martini glasses. Tea’s more or less an expression there. But what if she really intended to have tea, and there I am, looking like a drunk?”
“Didn’t your Date-a-Dyke ad say you love scotch?”
“I know, but I wasn’t sure I should love it on the first date. You know what they say, Bern. You never get a second chance to make a good first impression.”
“Is that what they say?”
“I think so. While I was weighing the pros and consequences, this woman walked in the door and made a beeline for my table. She didn’t even take a minute to scan the room. She zoomed right in on me and came over.”
“She was just passing by, and thought you’d be the perfect person for a serious talk about Amway products.”
“It was GurlyGurl, Bern.”
“And did she live up to her screen name?”
“She’s pretty great looking. Taller than I am, but who do you know that isn’t? Dark hair, real nice figure, peaches and cream complexion, big gray eyes—”
“Gray?”
“She said they used to be blue, but the color faded out of them. Have you ever heard of that happening?”
“With hair.”
“I guess it can happen with eyes, too, and Miss Clairol’s no help if it does. She’d just come from work, and she said she hoped I hadn’t been waiting long, and I said I just got there myself, I hadn’t even ordered yet, and she said…”
Di dah di dah di dah. She fed me the conversation word for word, and a court reporter couldn’t have done a better job of it. I stopped listening, because I was caught up in the physical description.
Hair, figure, complexion, eyes—granted, it could fit any number of women, but I’d had the feeling for a while now that there was a great big coincidence hovering just out of sight, waiting patiently for the chance to coincide.
I tuned in again, and she was telling how they’d ordered drinks after all. “She asked what I wanted, and I said I’d probably have a cup of tea, and she said she thought I liked scotch, and I said I did, but tea’s nice sometimes, and she said she’s a big tea drinker herself, but after the week she’d just had scotch would sure hit the spot, and I said in that case I didn’t figure one drink would hurt me. Because I know you don’t drink before a job, Bern, and I shouldn’t either, but it would be different if I was going into the house. I’m not, am I?”
“No, I’m on my own for that part.”
“That’s what I thought, so I figured one drink would be fine.”
“So you had a drink.”
“Well, two.”
“I thought you just said—”
“Bern, who has one drink? It’s like one pant or one scissor. They come in pairs. Nobody has just one drink.”
“Somebody must,” I said, “or where would the expression come from? ‘I think I’ll have a drink.’ A drink. Not two drinks, not six drinks, not ten drinks. ‘I think I’ll have a drink.’ People say it all the time.”
“Uh-huh, and then they say ‘I think I’ll have another.’ A drink is just the stepping-off point. Anyway, we had two each, and I ate a whole dish of mixed nuts to soak up the alcohol, and I’m fine.”
“You seem okay.”
“That’s because I am okay. And I’m not driving, so I don’t have to worry about a Breathalyzer test, and I’m not going into the house, so what’s the problem?”
“I don’t think there is any. I gather the two of you hit it off.”
“I like her, Bern. And I think she likes me.”
“You made a good impression.”
“And a good thing, because that’s something you only get one crack at.”
“Where does she live?”
“Manhattan. Hey, I knew that going in. I didn’t want to meet her and