hand, he lifted from the bed, sitting beside me to study my face. “I’m leaving for a few days. Cole will be your protection during my absence. Keep Nyx close, as well. She’s not much of a fighter, but she’s another body to throw at anyone stupid enough to move against you during my absence. Ian, Hunter, Conrad, and Acyn will be with me, so I want you at Cole’s side at all times. He will be between here and the sanctuary. Don’t run from me. Not while I’m gone. My family wouldn’t be gentle with you in my absence if they had to come out and catch you, Remi. Sit up and kiss me, and mean it.”
“I’m not kissing you,” I complained.
His lips had some invisible magnet to mine, and the moment they touched, we ended up sucking face. It wasn’t healthy. I had a battered ego, and I wasn’t happy about the invasion of privacy he felt compelled to break. He acted like he had a right to invade my memories, push past barriers I hadn’t even known were there, taking control of my mind while I was defenseless against him. I’d felt naked and vulnerable.
“I shouldn’t have done it,” he grunted, scrubbing his hand down his face. “I needed to know if you wanted Cole.”
“You could have asked, and I would have answered you truthfully. I find Cole very attractive, but he’s a wild card. He needs someone wild like him to match his needs, and that isn’t me. Cole is into sharing his things, and I’m not one for being shared, Rhys. I’m a one-man type of woman. So your answer is no. I wouldn’t do that, or try to be with him because there’s no longevity there.”
“Yet you chose to be with me knowing I would push you away. Why put yourself through that?” he demanded as if I were the asshole in this situation.
“Because you’re a forever type of man,” I admitted, rubbing my hands over my face. “You have teased me, taunted me, and pushed me until I have thought of nothing but you. You wanted me as much as I wanted you, which makes this our fault. Not mine, and not yours, but ours together. It was enjoyable. You were great and treated me with respect, which is more than either of my flopped attempts had done. You knew I wouldn’t blow your world away when you came to my room. You knew I lacked the experience, and yet you came anyway. It worked, and we both got what we wanted. That’s it in a nutshell.”
“You’re wrong, Remington Silversmith. You didn’t blow my world; you rocked it. That’s more than any woman has done for me in three hundred years. You were innocent and inexperienced, but you matched me in need and fire, and no woman has ever accomplished that before you. Sex wasn’t feeding with you. I have not fucked a woman in three hundred years for anything more than to feed.” I blinked, holding his stare, watching him stand after he’d dropped that information into my lap. “Don’t tell Cole that, he enjoys the game of bedding feeders he thinks I come to enjoy.”
“Why?” I asked softly.
“It gives him some sick sense of enjoyment.”
“Not that,” I snorted.
“Because I hadn’t found anything worth relishing, or allowing myself to enjoy until you,” he admitted, watching my face. “If I were a better man, I’d have left you alone last night. I’m not a better man, my Silver. I have built a reputation around being a monster, and it works for me. I have no weakness other than my family. I have given no one anything to use against me, and I’m not about to start now.”
“You also won’t forgive yourself,” I frowned, watching all emotion slip from his face. “Sooner or later, you have to forgive yourself because everyone else has, Rhys. You punish yourself so much that it holds you back. Guilt is a heavy burden to carry, and you’ve carried it for so long.”
“Do not pretend to understand what or who I am, little girl. It makes you look weak and stupid,” he growled, slipping through the door to slam it behind him, causing me to wince.
The door to Rhys’s room opened and closed, and I turned as mine opened from the hallway, staring at Nyota, who slowly walked toward me. Her azure eyes were framed in thick, dark lashes as she studied my face closely.