Bullet Page 0,70
It was almost a clean feeling: no distractions, no doubts, just what had to be done. I wasn’t quite to that white-static center where I pulled the trigger, but I was headed that way. The moment I felt myself go all distant and empty, I would know that part of me had decided to kill Haven. Part of me wanted to keep him alive, but it wasn’t as big a part of me as I’d thought. I felt a little bad about that, but not a lot. A year ago, I’d have poked at the feeling, but not now. Now I waited to see if Haven would give me a reason to keep him alive or give me an excuse to kill him.
We’d actually gone to little earbud headsets for the guards, and for me and Jean-Claude. I had to green-light the shooters. A voice on the earbud made me jump; I still wasn’t used to it. “Eagle here, darling.” Bobby-Lee’s southern drawl was almost startling after so many months without him. He’d been away on some hush-hush job for the wererats. They did mercenary work to bring in money for their group. Bobby Lee had been away for a long time. He’d come back more tanned than when he’d left, thinner, too, and worn around the edges. The old British saying was You’ve been in the wars. Probably closer to true than I wanted to know.
“Yeah,” I said, my pulse in my throat from jumping, “I mean Black Queen here.” Eagle was whoever was in charge of the guards overall on a shift. Black Queen was my call sign. No, it wasn’t my idea, but until I thought of a better one I couldn’t bitch too much. Yes, Jean-Claude was Black King. Like no one was going to figure that out.
“The lions are on their way down. It’s the Rex, two bodyguards, the two new female lions, and two other males that Haven’s okay with you feeding on, just like you negotiated, darlin’, but the two feeders are a little worse for wear.”
“Stop calling me darling, and what does that mean . . . Eagle?”
“Means someone has beat the shit out of them. They’re being carried down to you all.”
“What the fuck,” I said.
“Are ya asking why he beat ’em to shit?” Bobby Lee asked.
“Yeah, I am,” I said.
“White King seems to think you’ve fucked them more than you’ve fucked him. He didn’t like that.” White King wasn’t the code for Haven, but for any VIP of a visiting vampire or animal group. You had to be more welcome here to have your own code sign.
“Jesus,” I whispered, “I haven’t fed on many . . . Oh, shit. No, he didn’t.”
“You’ll have to finish a sentence there, Black Queen, before I can give you an answer,” Bobby Lee said.
“Shit, I don’t know how to do this and not say names.” I looked at Jean-Claude.
He covered his earbud and spoke low. “Who do you fear it is?”
“Noel and Travis,” I said. They were in college and were two that had survived from the old pride’s leadership to Haven’s new regime. I had used them to help me control my lion when Nicky wasn’t available, but I hadn’t fed the ardeur on them, because they were too young. They were legal, but young in experience. As far as I could discover, Noel was a virgin. I was so not going to be his first. I had tried to persuade the old Rex, Joseph, that they were too tender to throw to the ardeur, but he hadn’t understood. Apparently Haven hadn’t understood, either. It was just a different misunderstanding.
Jean-Claude spoke to that invisible voice. “Joe College and Christmas are who the Black Queen is concerned about.”
“The concern is well placed, Black King.”
“Shit,” I said.
“Yep,” Bobby Lee said, “that about covers it, Black Queen.”
I didn’t want to have to deny I’d had sex with Travis and Noel over the open airwaves, as it were; besides, I’d learned a long time ago that you can’t prove a negative. You can prove that you did something, but it’s the devil to prove you didn’t do something.
Nathaniel said it for me since he wasn’t on the headset. “You haven’t had sex with Noel and Travis.”
“I know that, but apparently the White King doesn’t believe that.” I fumbled at the neckpiece, trying to turn it off for a minute, but I couldn’t remember how. I was angry. I hadn’t been angry until now. It gave me an