Brothersong (Green Creek #4) - T.J. Klune Page 0,62
it to the door before my arms could give out.
I pushed it open.
The fire was dead.
It was cold.
I found the blanket left on the floor.
I threw it over myself, curling up into a ball on the floor.
“Kelly,” I moaned as I shivered. “Kelly, help me. Kelly, please. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I didn’t want to hurt you. I didn’t mean it.”
But he never came.
heartbeat
Gavin didn’t come back that night.
The sky darkened.
The promised snow never fell.
When I could move without feeling like I was dying, I built a fire, my hands shaking. It took a long time before I started to feel warm.
I stood gingerly. The pain was lessening, but it still had its teeth in me.
I went to the window.
The glass was frosted.
I slept, but it was broken. Kelly was there, standing off in the distance. No matter how much I tried to run toward him, I never got any closer.
I SAT UP WITH A GASP.
It was morning.
The fire was out again.
I heard—
I smelled—
I wrapped the blanket around my shoulders and went to the window, sure there would be someone standing outside the cabin.
There wasn’t.
Only the trees.
The clouds were gone.
The sun was shining.
I said, “I know you’re there.”
I said, “Come out, come out, wherever you are.”
I said, “You can’t hide from me.”
I said, “This is a dream. I’m still dreaming.”
I was delirious.
I was hot.
I was cold.
I said, “Dad?”
But my father was dead and nothing but ash.
I went to the door.
I opened it.
Cool air washed over me.
I blinked against it.
I stepped out into the snow.
I barely felt it against my bare feet.
I walked away from the cabin.
I didn’t know where I was going. My skin thrummed.
I said, “Where are you?”
I laughed.
It came out sounding like a sob, choked and wet.
And then I saw him.
In the snow.
Behind the trees.
A white wolf. Black on his back and chest.
His eyes burned red.
He said chase me i love you chase me.
I said, “Daddy?” because I was just a little boy again, and my father, my father was there, and he was never going to leave me, he was never going to leave me again.
He ran.
I chased after him.
Tree branches slapped against my face and chest, sharp stings as the blanket flared around me. I almost dropped it. I almost let it go.
PackLoveSon to me to me come to me
He was there and then he wasn’t.
He was in front of me.
He was beside me.
He was behind me, nipping at my heels.
i love you PackLoveSon i love you i love you and i will guide you home
“Dad!” I cried.
I entered a clearing, one I didn’t recognize. It all looked the same. The trees. The snow. The earth. It wasn’t my territory, it wasn’t home, and I couldn’t find him, I couldn’t—
I tripped over a tree root and crashed onto the ground, the blanket underneath me.
I came to a stop on my back.
I looked up at the sky.
“I tried,” I whispered to my father. “I’m sorry I wasn’t good enough.”
I closed my eyes.
He spoke then, his voice loud and clear. “You are more than I ever thought you could be. My brave son. Listen. Can you hear it?”
I said, “Daddy. It hurts.”
He said, “I know. And I would take it from you if I could. I would take it all. It was never supposed to be this way. None of it. Howl, Carter. Howl as loud as you can. Sing your song. They will hear you.”
And because he was my father, I did as he asked.
It came out thin and reedy, a desperate aria of blue.
I opened my eyes.
There was no one there.
My father was dead.
He’d died years ago.
He wasn’t here.
He wasn’t with me.
He wasn’t—
“Carter?”
I turned my head.
Kelly stood there. He looked different. He wore a coat, heavy and black, zipped up the front. He had dark circles under his eyes, cheeks flushed red. He took a stuttering step forward.
I said, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to yell at you. I didn’t mean to hurt you. Please don’t disappear again. I need you.”
His expression crumpled as he rushed forward, stripping his coat off. He fell to his knees next to me, and then I was surrounded by the scent of him, and it was like he was there. It was like he was real. It felt like home, and I said, “Why are you crying? Please don’t. I can’t stand it when you cry.”
He said, “What happened to you? Oh my god, Carter, what happened to you?”