Brothersong (Green Creek #4) - T.J. Klune Page 0,43
case he came back.
And since I wasn’t stupid, no matter what he said, I didn’t go into the woods, even if the itch to do so was maddening.
I went back through the cabin. I remembered something Robbie had told us about how he’d had a hidden cubbyhole in his house in Caswell where he’d kept his secrets. I told myself that Gavin could have done the same, and though I didn’t know what he’d keep hidden, I hoped it would give me something, anything—an insight to who he was as a man.
But the walls were sturdy and hadn’t been altered.
There was nothing under the bed.
I eyed the fireplace, wondering if I should douse it and check the brick in the back.
Kelly said, “What do you think you’re going to find?”
He was sitting on the bed. He wore the same hoodie I had worn, the one I’d stolen from his room before I left Green Creek. He watched me with a curious expression, and though I tried not to look directly at him, it was almost impossible not to.
“Carter?”
“I don’t know.”
He nodded. The bed squeaked as he slid on it back against the wall, legs crossed in front of him. He tugged at the sleeves of the hoodie, something he did when he was nervous or tired. He looked around the cabin. “Doesn’t seem like much, huh?”
“No.”
“He doesn’t have anything.”
I looked around the cabin. “It’s like he’s….”
“Stagnant. Stuck.”
“Yeah. Maybe.”
“You found him, though.”
“I…. He doesn’t want me here.”
Kelly snorted. “I could have told you that a long time ago. Come on, man. You had to know that’s what he was going to say. And there’s probably some truth to it too, though I think it has less to do with you and more to do with his father. What’s the plan here, Carter? You’ve had a year to come up with something. You can’t have thought he was going to listen to you. You left us all to find him. Guess what? He’s here. You’re here. What happens now?”
“I don’t know.”
Kelly shrugged. “Did you ever?”
“I thought so.”
“Why?”
“Why did you never stop going after Robbie?”
Kelly said, “Because he was my mate. I love him. And I promised myself that nothing would stand between us, that I would do anything to get him back.” He cocked his head at me. “Do you love Gavin?”
No. No, I didn’t. Not like he meant. Not like that. It wasn’t like that.
And he said, “Oh, yeah, sure, completely not like that at all,” and it should have scared me more that he answered me although I hadn’t spoken out loud. But I was just so relieved he was here, that I wasn’t alone. “Yet here you are.”
“Here I am,” I echoed.
“Carter?”
“Yeah?”
“Come here.”
I went. I couldn’t not. He was my brother, and I was lost.
He welcomed me with open arms, pulling me down onto the bed. I lay between his legs, my head on his chest. I ignored the fact that I couldn’t hear his heart. It didn’t seem important, not when his hands were in my hair, tugging gently. He hummed a song that reminded me of our mother under his breath. I squeezed my eyes shut.
“It’s okay,” he said quietly.
It wasn’t. Nothing about this was okay. “What do I do?”
“Well, threatening him doesn’t seem to be working. In case you were wondering.”
“Not helping.”
“And it’s not like you can take out Livingstone on your own.”
“Really not helping.”
He laughed. “Yeah, sorry about that.” He sobered. “Is this worth it? All that you’ve endured to be here, now, where you are?”
“I don’t know,” I whispered.
“But?”
“It feels… important.”
He said, “I dream about you. Can I tell you about it?”
I could barely breathe.
He said, “In these dreams, we’re happy. We’re together. It’s you and me and Joe. We’re running together. Sometimes we’re wolves, and sometimes we’re human. You’re the fastest, because you’ve always been. But you never leave us behind. Joe’s the strongest, because he’s the Alpha, and it’s his job to be brave.”
“What about you?”
He shifted slightly underneath me. “What do you think?”
“The smartest. You’re the smartest. I always thought so.”
“Did you?”
“Yeah. And you’re… kind. Even to those who don’t deserve it. I don’t know how to be that way.”
“That’s why you have me,” he said. “To show you kindness. To remind you that even when all seems dark, there is always a light if you just know where to look for it.”
“You’re not—”
“Real,” he said. “No, I’m not. But for now, let’s pretend I am. Let’s pretend we’re together. We’re