Brothersong (Green Creek #4) - T.J. Klune Page 0,163
was ever okay? You can’t just—”
“I’m going to him!”
I stopped.
Closed my eyes.
The winter birds sang from the trees. It sounded like a song of sorrow.
I whispered, “What?”
He said, “I’m going to him.”
He said, “Never should have come here.”
He said, “I can stop this.”
He said, “I can stop him.”
He said, “Sacrifice. In the book. It was sacrifice.”
He said, “Doesn’t have to be Ox. Ox is Alpha. Pack needs Alpha.”
He said, “Pack doesn’t need me.”
I turned to look at him. His eyes were wet. His bottom lip was trembling. I said, “No.”
He shook his head. “Carter. Listen, okay? Listen. I can do this. I can end this. I… I can save pack. Good wolf. I can be good wolf. Big and bad but good.”
“No, no, no—”
“Shh,” he said, taking a step toward me. He pressed his finger against my lips. “Shh, Carter. It’s okay. I promise.” He tried to smile, but it broke into pieces. “You know I’m right. You know it. I help pack. Make it better.”
I jerked my head back and whirled around, pulling him toward the houses again.
“Carter, stop.”
“Fuck you,” I snarled at him over my shoulder. “You really think I’m just going to… what? Let you go? Let you do this? And you think I’m the stupid one? Oh, buddy, have I got news for you.”
“You don’t need me,” he said, struggling to pull away. I held on tight. “You don’t. You live. You can live. He doesn’t want you. Or Alphas. Or pack. He wants me.”
“What then?” The blue house came into view. “What the fuck is going to happen then? You let him suck the life out of you? Let him kill you? What if it’s not enough? What if he tears away all that you are and leaves you nothing but a fucking wolf again? He won’t stop, Gavin. You know he won’t.”
“He will. I can do it.” He said, “I hear him. He’s getting louder. He’s my father. He—”
“He is nothing to you.” The fear in me pushed through the rage, rearing its ugly head. I could barely breathe as it clawed at my chest, the panic fierce and bright. “He never has been. Why can’t you see that? You don’t get to do this. I won’t let you.”
“Why?” he shouted, and the force of it startled me. My grip on his arm loosened, and he pulled away before pushing me. I crashed into the side of the blue house, the siding cracking. “I never asked for this. Any of this. I never asked for you.”
I laughed bitterly. “Then why did you stay?”
He flinched. “What?”
I took a step toward him. He didn’t move. “You came here. You stayed. You didn’t have to. You knew who you were. You knew what would happen if we found out. And still you stayed. Why?”
“Questions,” he growled. “Always questions. You never stop, even when you should.”
I ignored him. I couldn’t stop. Not now. Not when everything was crumbling around us. “And then you leave because you’re a self-sacrificing asshole. I chased after you, and oh, did you put up a good fight. No, Carter, no. I don’t want to go with you. I don’t want to be with you. Go away, Carter. Go away. Stupid Carter.” I curled my hands into fists to keep from lashing out. “And you still came back. You still made yourself part of this pack. You made yourself a home. If it’s so easy for you to leave again, then why the fuck did you even come back here at all?”
He slumped, the fight draining out of him. His voice was hoarse when he said, “You’re the only place I’ve ever felt safe. You, Carter. You make me feel safe.” He tapped his fist against his chest. “Thump. Thump. Thump.”
I kissed him.
He exhaled explosively as his lips pressed back against his teeth. His mouth was warm and wet, and I felt the scratch of stubble against my hands as I cupped his face. He made a wounded noise, and then I was being shoved back against the house again. Only this time, he was pressed up against me, the long line of his body hot against my own. My brain was misfiring at the thought that we were both naked, but then it fell away when he bit my bottom lip, tugging on it gently.
I groaned into his mouth as he gripped my biceps, claws digging into my skin.
“Stupid Carter,” he muttered against me. “It’s you. It’s you. Always you.”