Brothers in Blue A Bryson Family Christmas - Jeanne St. James Page 0,44

you’ve done to work on getting better. For doing everything in your power to make it so we could bring a child into our life.”

Matt hoped that his son’s eyes stayed blue like Autumn’s, so they’d be like his. “I know how much it meant to you. I needed to do it for you. I didn’t want you to regret never having the child you so desperately wanted. Regret giving up that dream because you married a broken man. I’ve only wanted you to be happy.”

“Same here,” she whispered, turning toward him and cupping his cheek. “I love you, Matt. And I would have given up that dream to keep you.”

Now there was a damn sting in his eyes. Must be the forced hot air from the salon’s heating system. “Knowing you would’ve made that sacrifice for me was what made me work harder. I didn’t want you to do that. I think it would’ve eventually killed me knowing I destroyed your dream of being a mother.”

“I just feel we owe Autumn so much. I extended the invite to her for tomorrow, but I doubt she’ll come.”

“That shouldn’t be surprising. Plus, I think Sig’s worried about her leaving the farm right now. Things are still very fresh for everyone involved.”

“Thank goodness everything turned out okay. Let’s hope it stays that way.”

He ran a knuckle down his wife’s damp cheek. “It will. This kid’s a Bryson. He’s got an army behind him.”

Carly laughed. “That’s true. When I ran into Judge outside, he said he’d step in at any time.”

Matt didn’t need an MC stepping in to take care of his family. He understood why Judge would offer, but it was unneeded.

“I need to go.” He might go have a word with the club’s Sergeant at Arms. Just a little reminder that Matt had his family covered.

She wiped at her face. “Can you give me a minute to run to the restroom?”

“Yeah.”

As Carly rushed toward the back of the salon, the bell jingled above the door and his mother walked in.

“There’s my baby boy with his baby boy,” she cried, her face all lit up.

“Ma, there’s only one baby in this place. It’s Levi.”

His mother came over and pinched his cheek anyway, making him pull back. “You’ll always be my baby.”

“There are plenty of grandchildren you can smother... I mean baby.”

Mary Ann whacked his arm lightly. “I’ll never stop smothering my sons.”

Matt groaned.

“I’m so happy that your life is coming together, Matt. That you created your own family. You are my baby... But, truthfully,” she took a shaky breath, “you scared me for the longest time.”

“I know.” For fuck’s sake, now he’d upset the two most important women in his life. He seemed to be an expert at it. It was not a skill he was proud of.

Every time he reenlisted his mother took it hard. No, not just hard, it devastated her. She couldn’t understand why he did it, but Matt hadn’t been ready to deal with civilian life. He had joined the Marines and became a Raider for a reason, and he struggled with leaving an incomplete job behind. But now, after years of therapy, he realized that job would never be done. There’d always be another conflict, then the next. He couldn’t fix things over there and he needed to stop letting that burden, that pressure, eat at him.

“I’m not scared anymore.”

Thank fuck for that. “I’m sorry I worried you.” He closed his eyes and just breathed for a moment. He’d avoided this conversation for a long time. Too long. But now he had a son, he better understood the love between a parent and a child.

He couldn’t avoid it anymore and he owed his mother that much. “I know you think I chose serving over there over you. Over our family. I know that hurt you. I’m sorry I did that to you. It wasn’t my intention. My intention was to do my service like every other Bryson and follow in Pop’s and Granddad’s footsteps. It was what was expected. But when I came home, when I went through the police academy, I felt like it was fake. It wasn’t real. War was real. People dying was real. Driving around a quiet town, going to calls of cats caught in a tree weren’t. It all felt meaningless, and those incidents were just unimportant. I felt that what I had done over there was more important. It was real.” He had a hard time explaining how he felt, like