much emotion she fakes until I see her completely raw. Now I’m bothered with her feeling as if she needs to hide anything from me.
But pushing her isn’t the answer. Neither is asking a million questions like I want to do. Mostly, I’m concerned about her health. A heart attack followed by a pregnancy seems dangerous.
Obviously, Carina wasn’t planned. Lana claimed to be on new birth control before the baby and now on a different one. What if she gets pregnant again so soon after giving birth? I hadn’t cared before knowing about her heart attack. Now I worry I’m putting her at risk.
Lana stretches out next to me on my bed and then switches gears and seems as if she wants to leave.
“I should check on the baby.”
Reaching over to the bedside table, I grab my phone and pull up the camera from the nursery. “She’s dreaming about sucking on a bottle, I think.”
Lana smiles at the sight of our baby.
“I want you to sleep in here,” I say as she runs her finger over the image.
“What about Carina?”
“We can see and hear her from here,” I say and then add when she seems unsure, “Or once she wakes up, we can put her in the bassinet and keep her in here.”
Lana sucks at her bottom lip, thinking about the right decision.
“I could use a beer,” I say, sitting up. “Leftovers too.”
Seeming rejected, Lana hesitates before getting out of bed.
“Look, it’s not late enough for me to sleep. Let’s sit outside and enjoy the warm weather. By the time we’re ready for bed, you can decide how you want to handle Carina’s sleeping arrangement.”
Choice no longer hers, Lana relaxes and takes the shirt I hand her. She doesn’t dress immediately, more interested in watching me. Lana is the first woman whose approval of my sexual prowess has mattered since I was a teenage boy and still learning how to use my dick for more than self-satisfaction. The bunnies love me because I’m in charge. I could pack on a hundred pounds and lose all my hair, and they’d still giggle at my every joke. Their approval hasn’t meant anything to me since I started the club.
But Lana’s inability to peel her gaze off me when I’m naked? Yeah, that’s a real boost to the old ego.
Once in the kitchen, she ditches me to check on the girls. I watch her on the camera footage. First, she leans down into the crib to see Carina better. That shit’s adorable as hell. I love how protective she is of our baby.
Then Lana walks to Sidonie’s bedroom. A painful emotion rolls through me, almost too much to deal with. I hate feeling this kind of weakness, but Lana is making it real hard not to fall in love with her. She already made me crazy, but her patience with Sidonie has convinced me that she’s the woman I never figured I’d have.
Tiptoeing back down the stairs, she smiles with relief. “The three youngest are all sound asleep.”
Her expression makes me realize how restless she gets when away from the kids. Considering what she said earlier about not being involved with Desi, I see why Lana’s so unsure about herself. She might be in her late twenties, but she’s still figuring out who she is. Just as Lineke warned.
“If you grab the beers, I’ll bring the food,” I say, and Lana looks like a giddy kid.
I switch on George Strait over the backyard sound system, and we relax at one of the tables. I don’t sense Lana’s hungry, but she sips the cold beer and nibbles on the corn on the cob while I eat.
“When does Desi finish her school year?” I ask while she watches me as if I’m a dream come true.
“This week is her last.”
“Think she’d be willing to miss it?”
Lana loses her smile. “I don’t know. Desi doesn’t like school, but the last week is usually fun. They don’t really do schoolwork, just watch a bunch of videos.”
“Sidonie finishes up this week too. If Desi doesn’t want to miss out on the end of school stuff, that’s fine. Still, I think you should plan to flip the living situation.”
“I don’t understand.”
“Spend the week here this summer and the weekends in Shasta. Or just stay here fulltime.”
Lana swallows hard, and I love how she doesn’t hide her fear. “Do you really think you’d want us around all week?”
“Yes,” I say, holding her gaze. “I told you how I feel. You