“I know this shit is weird. I showed up one night and announced you had a new baby sister. You know what kind of women I date. They’re not mommy material. It makes sense for you not to want her here, stinking up your home. You also know Sidonie is desperate for a family we can’t give her. It makes sense for you to be afraid of Lana,” I say and move just a little closer and lower my voice. “But you’ll be gone in a few years. Yeah, you’ll visit for holidays, but Carina’s going to grow so fast while you’re away at school. This is your chance to know her before life takes you away.”
“That woman, though.”
“I like her, Summer. Not just want to fuck her, but I like her. She makes my heart feel weird. I know you think I’m old, and dating is dumb for a guy so ancient.” Summer smirks at my wording. “But this woman makes me crazy inside. That’s never happened before, and I’m so old, you know?” Summer fights laughter at my dramatic tone. “All these many, many years alive, and I’m only now falling for a woman. And because I’m so damn old, this is my last chance.”
Summer doesn’t like this last part as much. The old thing is funny when she can mock my taste in music or how I don’t understand her cool thinking. Me being closer to death is far less humorous.
“Yes,” I continue, “Sidonie will lose her shit if Lana and I get into a big fight, and she stops visiting. I know all that, but Sidonie will lose her shit about something anyway. She’s not normal. You know that.”
“Normal’s overrated,” Summer says, protective of her little sister.
“Agreed. And life doesn’t come with any assurances. Yeah, things might go wrong, or they might just fizzle out, and we’ll be friends. Or I might fall hard for Lana and walk around with hearts in my eyes.”
Once Summer’s smile returns, I continue, “But it’s like you with school. You might love the big city. Traveling to different countries could be exciting. Or you might hate it. But you have to try. Too many people never risk anything because they fear looking or feeling bad. We’re not weak that way, Summer.”
My oldest daughter nods, and her thick blonde hair falls in her eyes. She swipes it away and smiles. “I don’t know if I want to talk to Lana or her mom or her other kid. But I probably should pay attention to Carina. You know, like you said, I’ll be gone in a few years and won’t see her so much.”
“I wouldn’t worry about Lana hassling you. Sidonie keeps her busy.”
Smiling bigger, Summer opens the fridge. “You should probably try dating her. I mean, this is your last chance and all.”
I repay her kindness by hugging all over Summer and making her squirm in my arms. “My baby girl is so sweet.”
“Gross,” she says, pushing me away. “Go hug your girlfriend.”
Letting her go, I smile. “Tomorrow, your aunts will be over. Before they show, I want you to hang out with Sidonie and Desi.”
“Why? I just said I’d play with the baby.”
“I’m a greedy man, Summer,” I say, and she rolls her eyes. “If you spend time with them, maybe in the pool, I’ll let you eat dinner in your room to avoid all the adult crap down here. Otherwise, I’m putting you between Barbie and Bambi and then asking them their views of big city colleges.”
“Evil,” she hisses, but I only smile.
“I didn’t get to be club president by chilling with the angels, baby girl,” I say, strutting away while she sighs loudly.
Upstairs, I check on a sleeping Carina. Her little lips wiggle and pout as she dreams. I hope she sees her mama’s beautiful face right now.
In the playroom, Sidonie and Desi sit in my daughter’s tent. I lean down to look inside, where they stop whispering and wave at me.
“Daddy, we’re best friends,” Sidonie says, and Desi smiles bigger.
“Are you having fun?” They nod in unison. “Where’s Lana?”
“Right here,” Lana says, and I spot her hidden among the stuffed animals at the other end of the room. With her blonde hair spread out over the Lion King doll-turned-pillow, she looks relaxed and extremely appealing.
I walk over and kneel next to her. “Need a break?”