I’m rushing because Sidonie needs to know how things will turn out, but I’d be lying. I want to know what it’s like to have a woman. That’s never once interested me before, but now I’ve got it on my mind every waking minute. That’s why we’re trying this thing.”
“Don’t I have a choice?” I ask, shocked as he turns around and walks to the kitchen with Carina.
“Of course,” he says over his shoulder.
Bronco is full of shit. His huge ego assumes I’ll go along with his plans because he’s strong, and I’m weak. Which is probably true. I tend to let things happen rather than fight battles.
On the other hand, Bronco got under my skin the instant I saw him. I thought of the sexy biker for nearly a year, pining over a stranger. Bronco could have been married or in a relationship when I found him. His kids could have hated me. Desi could have feared him. There were so many possible detours before arriving at this moment. Yet if I let myself try, I feel as if our life together might be effortlessly perfect.
BRONCO
Lana doesn’t want to leave Carina. I suspect she doesn’t trust me. I’d take it more personal or assume she’s using the baby as leverage except she’s a new mom. My sisters didn’t want their kids away from them for even a minute. Barbie carried Conor into the bathroom when she took a shit.
Normal new moms are territorial about their babies. That should have been my first tipoff that Summer’s mom wasn’t suited to motherhood. She was always pawning off our baby. People would call me to ask if I could pick up Summer since Kimberlee hadn’t returned. I should have cut her off then, but I lacked confidence with fatherhood.
What the fuck did I know about kids? My parents were terrible. I didn’t take care of my sisters’ kids alone until they could walk. Fatherhood wasn’t in my wheelhouse. I thought I had a right to keep my distance, but Summer could have died because of my hesitation.
That’s why I’ve never once tried to get Kellie Dee to step up as a mom to Sidonie. My daughter aches at missing out on what other kids have, but she’s better off this way.
Holding Carina, I check the security camera located in the playroom. Lana sits on the floor, resting against the wall while the girls play with Sidonie’s dollhouse. Desi is talking as usual. Sidonie just beams with the two of them in her safe space. I used to pay one of the club guys’ teenage daughter to babysit. Sidonie loved having the girl watch her play. Lindsey lasted two months before she begged to stop visiting.
“Your sisters are getting along,” I tell Carina who puckers her lips until she looks like her mom. “Wouldn’t it be nice if that lasted for a while?”
The baby watches me, and I try to memorize all her little features. “You’re going to have so many people love you.”
I feel someone watching me and turn to find Lineke at the kitchen entrance. She wears her usual pleasant expression. I know that’s a con. Lana wears a similar one when she feels overwhelmed, but she’s never really happy when she puts on that mask.
“What’s the plan for the weekend?” Lineke asks, walking toward me and smiling at the baby resting in my arms.
“Tonight, my VP will be back. I don’t know if you remember Lowell from last weekend. He came over with his son. Anyway, tonight, he’ll be over with his wife. The club’s old ladies are dying to meet Carina, but I don’t want them breathing all over her at once. This weekend, Topanga gets a chance to meet the baby.”
“What about your sisters?”
I grin at her unspoken question. “I told them to fuck off until tomorrow. They’ll join us for dinner then.”
“Where is your other daughter?” Lineke asks. “Summer.”
“At the movies with Conor.”
Lineke leans against the kitchen island and watches me. “Have you ever been married?”
“No.”
“Don’t believe in it?”
“Never found a woman worth chancing it with.”
Lineke nods. “But you like fatherhood.”
“It goes without saying how none of my girls were planned. If they were, I wouldn’t have chosen the women that gave me Summer and Sidonie.”
“Why?”
“They’re selfish bitches,” I say and then shrug when her eyes widen at my tone. “They were club bunnies. Women who hang around to party. Neither of them is built for motherhood.”