baby can’t be away from her. Then I’ll be lucky if I can drive down and see Carina for an hour each month. Soon, the baby will be a toddler. Will Lana be willing for me to take care of the kid alone? No, probably not. Maybe when Carina is school-aged, but she’ll barely know my people or me by then.
That’s even assuming Lana doesn’t hook up with a man and decide I’m more trouble than I’m worth. Then what? I’m not someone who goes through the law to handle problems, and forcing issues with the Reapers isn’t an option.
Fuck it! I’ll get a place in Shasta if need be. Go down there every fucking week to see my kid, so Carina never forgets she’s a Parrish.
“I can come back,” Lowell says when he enters the house to find me frowning.
Minutes earlier, Lana finished up in the bathroom and went to pack. The girls are playing out back with Uno. Lineke is who knows where. I hold Carina in the kitchen, feeding her a bottle and fuming over how I’ll never let those Shasta fuckers steal away my kid.
“No, I’m fine,” I tell my VP when he notices my mood.
Lowell’s blue eyes scan the room and the people outside. He’s looking for what pissed me off. I watch and wait for his gaze to return to me.
“I haven’t slept well in two days. If you expect me to explain in more detail than that, you’re out of the fucking club.”
Grinning, he sets an envelope of cash on the kitchen island. “Can I hold the baby?”
“Why?”
“You let me hold Sidonie.”
“That was eleven years ago. I’m not sure you’re still up to the task.”
“Fucker,” he growls.
“Wash your hands first. I don’t want you getting jizz on my kid.”
“I wash after I nut one out.”
“I don’t,” announces his son, Dunning, while entering the kitchen. “Feels disrespectful to my balls.”
Lowell frowns at his sixteen-year-old. The boy looks toward the back doors, where Summer enters.
“Hey, wanna take a walk?” he asks my daughter, who the boy’s been crushing on for at least a year.
Summer blows her blonde bangs out of her eyes and says, “Alexa, play ‘My Lovin' You're Never Gonna Get It’ by En Vogue.”
As the song begins to play, Dunning rolls his eyes. After Lowell and I share a smile, I finally relent to his request to hold Carina.
“Is her mom heading home soon?” he asks in a tone that implies I might have her locked up somewhere.
“Her daughter has school tomorrow.”
“Summer break is coming,” Lowell adds and makes a funny face for the baby who couldn’t give two shits.
“We’ll see.”
Lowell scans the room where Summer sits on the couch, and Dunning stares out the back door.
“If you need a scapegoat, feel free to blame me,” he offers.
“For what?”
Lowell’s blue eyes hold mine. “Don’t play coy. You’re not cute enough to pull it off.”
Frowning, I reach for Carina. “Give me back my kid.”
“I forget what a nightmare you are without enough sleep,” he says, handing over the baby.
Carina fusses when I cradle her, so I flip her over and hold her like a football. She burps immediately, and I wink a Lowell.
“Still got it.”
“Maybe you can get this one to give you a son,” Lowell mutters before shutting up at the arrival of Lana and Lineke.
The women frown at how I’m holding Carina. Rather than ignore their expressions, I feel the need to defend myself.
“She’s gassy.”
Lana smiles awkwardly. She’s nervous around me now. I don’t know if that’s good or bad. She shouldn’t think she can play me. Carina is my kid, and I already love the little girl. But she isn’t my only daughter, and my family and the club rely on me to think smart. I refuse to sell out their happiness for this one woman and my youngest child.
Except when Lana smiles at the sight of Carina, I find myself struggling with the idea of her leaving. Yesterday was chaos. If Lana stuck around today, we could talk about things without my sisters interrupting to tell stories about me shitting my pants as a kid.
But I don’t ask her to stay. She either lied about her knowledge of the Elko/Shasta battles, or she needs to ask her people about them. I can’t expect her to be loyal when she doesn’t know the score.
Before she goes, I ask to speak to her alone. Lana looks nauseous but agrees. We walk to my office, where I close the French doors. I place