The Bromance Book Club - Lyssa Kay Adams Page 0,79
still inside her. “Baby, you were so close. Tell me what to do.”
“I’m sorry.”
The tremor in her voice brought him up on his arms. Tears glistened in her eyes, and everything inside him froze. “I’m sorry, Gavin. I don’t know what happened. I don’t know what’s wrong.”
“Baby, don’t. It’s OK.” Gavin withdrew from her body with a grunt. God, that hurt. “We w-went too fast. That’s all. We should have taken things more slowly.”
“We’ve been taking things slowly all week!” Thea pushed away from him and stood up.
Gavin dry washed his face and silently recited every curse word Lord Dirty Mouth could think of. Qualling shard-borne canker blossom!
He forced his voice to remain calm. “Just talk to me, Thea. Tell me what I’m doing wrong.”
“I don’t know.” Thea yanked her shirt over her head and searched for her jeans.
“Just talk to me.”
Thea pulled her jeans on. “I don’t know what to say! I don’t know what’s wrong! You can’t just snap your fingers and say, Come, baby, and make it happen. God, what is it with men? You think that just because you have a hard-on, we women are supposed to just roll over and start moaning like a porn star for you.”
Steady, mate. Don’t say something you cannot take back.
The beastly, humiliated side of Gavin punched Lord Magic Dick in the face. Gavin shot to his feet. “Except that you did, Thea. Every time. I thought I was the king of the fucking sheets thanks to your acting skills.” He dragged his hands over his hair. “God, Thea. Was it just with me? Am I the only man you’ve never been able to orgasm with?”
“How dare you bring up other men! I had exactly two boyfriends before you, and for your information—not that it is any of your business—yes, I did sometimes orgasm with them.”
Her admission seemed to steel his breath. “Why didn’t you just tell me?”
“Why didn’t you know?”
“Because I’m not a mind reader. W-we have to talk openly and honestly about these things.”
“We haven’t talked openly and honestly about anything in a long time, Gavin.”
Gavin searched for his clothes and yanked them on. “You make it sound like things were horrible between us, Thea. They weren’t.”
“Is that the highest standard you aim for? Not horrible? Would you really prefer to go back to the way we were before that night?”
“I’d rather that than this.”
Her face fell. “That’s what scares me, Gavin. There are a lot of ways to fake it. I’m just the only one willing to own up to it.”
“What the hell does that mean?”
“It means that sometimes I think you wished you never found out that I was faking it.”
“That isn’t true.”
“Dammit, Gavin. Be honest with me!”
Gavin clenched his fists. “You want honesty? Fine. Yes, goddammit. I wish I’d never found out that my wife had treated our entire marriage like one long pity fuck!”
Oh, you coddle-woppled worm fart. That was too far, mate. I can’t save you on that one.
“Pity fuck?” Thea reared back as if he’d slapped her. “I don’t know who that’s more insulting to, Gavin, you or me, but my body is not a charity. I don’t fuck anyone unless I want to. Even my husband.”
Regret was a sour taste in his mouth. “That’s not—that’s not what I meant, Thea.”
Thea shook her head and spoke with a sadness that gutted him. “You broke my heart, Gavin.”
Gavin’s chest caved in on itself. He crossed the room and gripped her shoulders. “Let me fix it.”
“I can’t go back to where we were, Gavin. To who I was. I can’t.”
“I don’t w-w-want that, either. I want to move forward.”
She hugged herself. “I don’t know if I believe you.”
Gavin spun and stormed to the console table by the door. He grabbed his keys and his wallet and then shoved his feet into his shoes.
“Where are you going?” Thea asked breathlessly.
“I need to clear my head.”
“You’re leaving?”
He threw open the door and stomped out.
CHAPTER TWENTY
Gavin drove straight to the community rec field. He was going to break into the goddamn park and hit some balls until his hands bled and the pain of the cuts overpowered the bleeding, gaping wound in his chest.
He pointed his car to the batting cage at the front of the diamond and left his headlights on. From his trunk, he pulled out his duffel bag with his bat and the dozen or so baseballs that were always rattling around in there.
With a strong toss, he heaved the duffel bag over the