Broken Trust(Devastation Duet #2) - Winter Paige Page 0,35
you wouldn’t have been using me.” I sit up, turning to face him. He would never.
“No. But are you in love with me, Eliana? Would you have been making love with me?” he questions sincerely.
“I do love you, Jaxx.” I wipe away a tear.
“And I love you, Munchkin, but that’s not how sex should be. Not for me and not for you. You should have better than a life settling for temporary physical pleasure. You deserve more. You had more with Joshua.” I blush, looking away, and he tilts my chin to look him in the eyes. “Why would you ever allow yourself to settle for less than that again? Why would you want something skin deep when you know how it feels to give your entire heart and body to someone? How could that ever compare, and how could that take away the pain? Does it not just remind you of what it should be?”
“Jaxx I… I just…” I sob, falling into his chest. “I’m sorry, Jaxx. I just want it to stop. Something seemed better than nothing.”
“Munchkin, when will you see that you have never really had nothing? You have me, Costin, Abel. We can’t all be here and give you what you want, but you have our love. You have so much. It’s just not the same as before. It never will be, and that’s okay because one day, you will be ready to love again. That day, Eliana, you will look back and be so grateful that we didn’t ruin what we have by covering up the memory of someone else. Don’t taint our love with that.” He brushes my hair from my face. “I’m not going anywhere. If you still want me later, once you have healed and you are truly ready, you can have me. I will always be here.”
“You think it will get better, Jaxx? Really? Because I’m not too sure of that. The pain, it just grows every day. I feel like I am suffocating under the weight.” I cry, pulling back slightly so I can look into his eyes when he answers me.
Pulling me into his chest, he cradles me, humming softly for a few moments until he speaks again. “I do, Eliana. Some pains are so deep, so consuming that you fight just to breathe every single day. They challenge your very soul. They are the real battles, not the ones out here against other people. The internal dragons are the hardest to beat. They are the ones that change you on a cellular level if you submit and the ones you have to want to slay in order to come out victorious. Eliana, you will win because I won’t allow you to lose. I will continue to pick you up and dust you off for the rest of forever if I have to. I will follow you into the afterlife; don’t test me. You are my world, Munchkin. You, Costin, and Abel are my family, but you, Eliana, are my world.”
“Jaxx, I am just so tired… it’s all too heavy.” I rub my chest.
“Then I will help you carry it, baby. Lean on me. I can be here. No red flags if I am with my fiancée. Lean on me. Share with me. I will fight with you.”
“Okay.” I nod, exhausted. I have a lot to think about… tomorrow. Especially the fact that I just tried to fuck Jaxx… yikes.
“Okay?” He raises a brow.
“Yeah. Read to me, Jaxx? Can we just pretend things are good again? That I’m still just the little girl who drives her hero insane and we have no worries other than breakfast cake and tiaras? For tonight?” I reach into the nightstand, removing the worn fairytales held together by a Champion’s tape and a tiny girl’s princess wishes, then hand it back to him, cuddling in under his arms.
“Hero, huh? Of course I will, Munchkin.” He tickles my side like he did when I was little and started wiggling too much, pulling a small giggle from me. He carefully opens the worn cover to the page marked by a pink velvet ribbon with a cupcake charm dangling from the bottom. Smiling down at the Eliana and Abel craft time creation from my childhood, Jaxx softly asks, “Now, where were we? Here?”
“Yeah, I love this part.” I sigh, borrowing in under his arm. “Stay with me tonight?” I yawn.
“Nowhere I would rather be.” He squeezes me tightly.
“Love you, Jaxx.” I exhale.
“I love you, too, Munchkin…
‘At last,