that sweet boy, waited until they were in the middle of the grocery store to point at a woman and holler, ‘Vagina!’”
Skye gasped as she choked on a laugh.
“Then,” Mitzy continued with glee, “he saw a group of college boys and screamed, ‘Penis, penis, penis!’ as he pointed to each of the three boys. The horror in my son’s retelling was glorious.”
“I think I like being called a dick better. Penis is too formal. What about you, Fox?”
Skye saw Karri’s head snap around and Skye followed to see who had just spoken. There stood Sheriff Fox and Agent Castle. Neither looked horrified by the story. Actually, they looked amused.
“Dick is a much more versatile word. Dickhead. What a dick. Don’t be a dick. Just doesn’t sound the same with penis.” Granger managed to say that with a straight face and Skye had to give him full props for that.
“I find the same to be true for vagina as well,” Mitzy said, not even looking up from the dick potholder she was making. “But I couldn’t very well teach my grandson to say pussy as he points to a woman. That’s just bad manners. Although, I did tell him to call his cat a pussy just to irritate my daughter-in-law. Gives me joy every time he calls, ‘Pussy! Here, pussy, pussy.”
A strangled choking sound came from Dare as he tried to cover it up with a cough. Karri covered her face with yarn as her shoulders shook. Skye turned to pound Dare on the back and used it as a cover for her own laughter. When she looked over Dare’s shoulder, she saw Castle and Fox struggling. Their shoulders were shaking, their faces were red, and finally Granger just turned to face the door as he bent over and dragged in deep breaths as his whole body shook with laughter.
Miss Ruby nodded her head. “That was smart of you. She deserves that. It’s not right not to let the grandmother pick her own name.”
“Pick your name?” Skye asked, still struggling for composure after the pussy incident.
“That’s right. When my grandson was born, I couldn’t wait to be called Mimi. I’ve been planning it ever since my son got married. Then, out of nowhere, I go to meet my grandson, and my daughter-in-law looked up at me from the bed holding my grandson and says, ‘J.R. meet your Gaga.’ She didn’t even let me pick what to be called and then stuck me with that name.”
“Bless your heart,” Miss Winnie said with a sympathetic shake of her head. “A horrible name to be saddled with. I’m sure you’re not tolerating that, though.”
Mitzy shook her head. “Of course not. I had him calling me Mimi before he was eighteen months old. Mimi doesn’t play that game. However, I invited her to join our knitting club even though she hasn’t been gracious in defeat. It’s why I wanted to have Skye here. I want to say Skye Jessamine knitted with me when my own daughter-in-law said knitting was only for old Gagas.”
A chorus of angry “Bless her heart,” echoed around the room. Skye suddenly felt angry for Mitzy and strangely protective of the stranger.
“I’m sorry,” Granger said to Mitzy and for once didn’t sound so serious. Instead, he sounded heartfelt. “I’ll pull Karen over the next time she’s in town. A ticket should piss her off.”
Mitzy’s sad frown turned into a smile. “You’re such a sweet boy, Granger.”
“Thank you, ma’am. Now, why we’re here is because we heard there was an alien sighting.”
Miss Ruby repeated her story and held up the green penis. “It was about this size and color.”
Castle cleared his throat and dropped his voice. “Today has been a very strange, very anatomical day.”
“We looked at where you told Dare you saw him in the park. From that vantage point, he could have a clear view of Main Street,” Granger said, trying to stay on point.
“That’s right.” Miss Ruby nodded her head. “I told you, I think he was observing us.”
Castle, Dare, and Granger turned to look at Skye and she knew then the creepy feeling she’d gotten was telling her she’d been found. “Do you think they know I’m here?”
“I think they’re trying to figure that out. My guess is Lenny gave them Trent’s name and they’re here to watch the town to see if they see you,” Castle told her. It made sense, but now the safety she’d felt was gone and it hadn’t even been a week yet.