Please, God, I hoped she hadn’t gotten knocked up again, by someone local this time. Life was too short to deal with random half-siblings, and my life was doing a fine job being a train wreck without any added drama.
“I never left,” she finished.
“You stayed here through Christmas and New Year’s?”
I couldn’t help it. I laughed. I didn’t even know why I was laughing.
“Yes,” Dixie said seriously. “You looked like you could use someone, so I wanted to make myself available to you. Where are you?”
“I…” I looked around me before remembering I didn’t need a savior. Especially in the form of Dixie.
“Where?” she repeated.
“Nah. I think I’m good.” My smirk was back.
“Knight,” she warned.
“Aw. Look at you. Playing the doting parent and shit. Did you read a book about parenting? Bet you’re an expert now, huh?”
“Tell me where you are right now.”
“And if I don’t?”
“I’ll tell your parents you’re an alcoholic.”
That made me choke on my laughter. Hilarious. I stopped rolling and stood up, swaying back and forth. Everything spun. My throat closed in on my last meal.
“You go do that.” I hung up.
She called again immediately. I picked up. I was looking for a fight. Hell, if Vaughn was here, I’d punch him in the nuts just to start one.
“Miss me?” I asked.
“You’ve been drinking a lot recently.”
“She’s sharp, too. Whaddaya think? Did I get my brains from you or daddy dearest? By the way, who is daddy dearest, exactly?”
“It’s not a conversation for now.”
“Guess it’s a conversation for never.”
She sounded like she was running. Where, I had no clue. I didn’t care, either. All I cared was that I had a punching bag I could go to town on.
“Knight, stop moving. You’re zig-zagging,” she snapped.
First of all, I didn’t even realize I was moving. Second of all, and more importantly, how did she…?
I looked up and realized she was descending the stairs from the promenade to the beach. Hot damn. She’d found me. I had no clue how, but she had. I turned my back, walking away from her. But my intoxication slowed me, and she was fast because of her eagerness to help. She caught me in three strides and yanked me by the back of my Balenciaga jacket.
“Knight Jameson Cole, you do not get to drink your troubles away and talk to me like this. I’m worried, you understand?”
I turned around, chuckling in her face. The laughter made my stomach feel even emptier. “No. I don’t. You’re nothing to me. A simple no one who has yet to understand her role in my life. My mother—my real mother—is dying in the hospital, and the girl I love is on the other side of the continent, fucking some douchebag named FUCKING JOSH she thinks she fell in love with. And I’m putting up with this shit and keep chasing her ass because…because…because I can’t not have her in my life. Don’t you understand?”
I pushed her. Not aggressively, but enough to make her stumble away from me. “You did this to me. Now I’m this broken puppy begging for love. I would take any crumb Luna throws my way. I’d self-destruct in order not to deal with what’s waiting around the corner for Mom. You made unconditional love conditional for me. You fucked nature in the ass, Dixie. You don’t do that. You don’t mess with nature.”
She stood there and took it as I pushed her again. She stumbled backward. The waves broke at our feet. I opened my mouth, and swear I got drunk again just smelling my own fucking breath.
“And all because of what? My biological father didn’t want you? Did he dump you for someone hotter? Didn’t want to put a ring on it?” I shook my head, chuckling. “Did you get pregnant to trap him? Did it not work? Did he bail because he was too young? Because he was too old? Because he was too married? Who’s the sad fucker who created me? Who’s the asshole I share DNA with, who was smart enough not to get trapped by your annoyi—”
She slapped me across the face. I tripped back, falling on my ass. She advanced toward me, and for a minute, I thought she was going to strike me again. Was I above hitting my biological mom? I was too drunk to remember. My gut feeling told me yes. I didn’t flinch. I let her run to me in full force. She stopped a