family has money. But I want to stay here, with you. I want to get to know you. Rosie wasn’t exaggerating. You’re amazing, and you’re mine. I want to know the entire Cole clan.”
I side-eyed her, hard. She shook her head, sniffing and wiping her tears with her thumbs.
“Not like that. Oh, God. Never. I haven’t even…I’ve never…”
Her blush could start a fire. Was she a virgin? I mean, obviously not, she’d had me, but had there been anyone else since the night I was conceived?
“I’ve never had a partner.” She answered my unvoiced question. “I’m not planning on having one, either. I just want to return a favor to Rosie. She trusted me so much, she paid for my accommodation here. She even gave me access to your gated community. But, more selfishly, I want to gain a son. If you’ll have me, of course.”
If I would have her.
Should I have her?
That was the million-dollar question. Because if I was going to let her up and leave everything she knew and move here, I needed to be damn sure I wasn’t going to bail on her ass when things got tough.
“I have a test for you.” I stood up, folding my arms over my chest.
She followed suit, darting to her feet. I tossed the empty slushie cup into a trash can a few feet away without even looking, my eyes still on hers.
Her throat bobbed. “I’m listening.”
“It’s about Luna.”
“Your girlfriend?” she interjected.
She was already doing a great job being a nosy mother. I started strolling along the promenade, and she matched my step, hurrying beside me.
“No, she is not my girlfriend anymore. She broke up with me.”
“Why?” Dixie asked breathlessly.
“Because I was an abusive, drunk idiot. Actually, I was being a real jerk to a lot of people. I hurt another girl trying to get back at Luna.”
“What do you mean, hurt?” Her voice caught in her throat.
I immediately knew what she was worried about. I stopped, putting a hand on her shoulder. Surprisingly, she melted under my touch, the worry evaporating from the creases on her face.
“No, Dixie. Nothing like that. I kind of toyed with Poppy’s feelings, but she pushed hard to stay with me. I didn’t even want to sleep with her, though she wanted us to. So yeah, I hurt her, but not physically.”
“Okay.” She nodded. “Continue.”
“Anyway, so Luna dumped my ass. She told me she’d revisit the subject of us after I’ve been sober for a while. But what’s long enough? I just lost my mom. I can’t lose her, too. She is the only thing that matters to me anymore, other than Dad and Lev.”
The charged pause in the air suggested I should add her name. I was nowhere near ready to even consider such an idea, though. Dixie had just passed the threshold between enemy and acquaintance. She had a long way to friend territory, and mountains and rivers to cross before she was family.
“So, what’s the question?”
I stopped walking. So did she.
I turned to face her. “How do I get her back?”
“You want my help?” Her eyes twinkled.
Did I? Hell, yeah, I did. Luna had promised to be there for me, and she was, but only as a friend. She knew I was sober, and she still wouldn’t let me touch her. Kiss her. Feel her.
I got it. I’d screwed up. And she needed to give me an incentive to keep away from the alcohol and everything else. Especially now, when Mom was gone. But hadn’t she heard her own words at the funeral? If you love someone, don’t set them free. Smother the fuck out of them until they realize they have no chance of escaping. Yup. That was the sentiment I was down with, a method I was willing to try.
“Yeah.” I stuck my fingers in my hair. “Yeah, I want your help, Dixie. That’s the test,” I added. “If you help me, you’re in.”
“And if Luna doesn’t respond to your advances?”
I knew she’d asked mainly to know where she stood, that it had nothing to do with Luna and me, but the idea of failing made me want to throw up.
“We’ll discuss it further if that happens.”
“No,” she said. “I don’t agree to this. I’m about to hand in my resignation. So whatever happens, I want you to promise me I can see you twice a week. Consensually,” she added, which made me want to laugh.