“It actually means beautiful mother. Trust the French to fully romanticize a replacement mother. My idea of a stepmother is Cruella De Ville.”
“Same with my stepfather.” I picked at a stray thread on my pillow. “Although he wasn’t exactly cruel, not to me. Just a money grubber.”
“Maybe it’s different when one parent dies as opposed to one of them having an affair.”
“Maybe.” I lifted a shoulder. Then I shivered. “The way he looked at me when he took her tablet. I feel guilty all of a sudden, even though Dauphine called me, and not the other way around. Maybe I shouldn’t have called her back.”
Meredith brought her knee up and rested her cheek on it, looking at me sideways. “It sounds like you have a good relationship with her. You guys are friends. If you hadn’t called back when she was obviously upset, that would have been cruel.”
I sighed. “You’re right.”
Suddenly my phone rang again. Another unknown number. Both Meredith and I stared at it.
“Answer it or no?” I asked quickly.
“Answer it!” Meredith practically shrieked.
I stabbed the accept button. At least it was a voice call and not a video call.
“Josephine?” Xavier’s deep voice rumbled.
Meredith slapped her hand over her mouth, eyes wide.
I flapped my hand.
“What?” Meredith whispered at my gesture. “What does that mean?”
I covered the phone. “I don’t know. Leave?”
“I’m leaving,” she said, then stopped and pointed at me. “But you are telling me everything.”
“Go,” I mouthed.
“Going,” she mouthed in response, backing to the door.
“Josephine?” Xavier said again with a muttered French curse.
“I—I’m here.”
Silence descended as soon as I announced to Xavier I was on the line. The soft click of my bedroom door closing behind Meredith was the only sound.
Perhaps he’d hung up because I hadn’t announced myself sooner. I took the phone away from my ear to check the screen. We were still connected.
“Xavier?” I asked softly, and it came out as a whisper, almost as if I was afraid to say his name. I was afraid. So afraid these feelings for him would balloon up at the sound of his voice when I’d been trying so hard to stuff them away.
“Oui,” he said softly. When nothing else came after, I frowned, but stayed quiet, unsure of the purpose of his call. Was he angry? Did he miss me? After a few moments, I lay back against my pillows and clicked off my side lamp. Waiting. In the darkness, I became aware of the faint sound of his breathing. “Are you alone?” he suddenly asked.
“Yes. Of course.” I paused. “You?”
“Moi aussi.” Me too.
For a moment I was tempted to fill the silence, but then I surrendered to it. There was too much between us and nothing could be resolved. Certainly not over the phone. I could ask about Dauphine, but I knew from her that she wasn’t doing well. If he wanted to talk about that he would.
I shifted onto my back, letting out a sigh. “Hey, Xavier?”
“Oui?”
“You don’t need to respond, and please don’t end the call. I just … I want to tell you. I miss you. I miss you both, so much.” At a hitch in his breath, I went on. “Don’t say anything. Let’s just … let’s just fall asleep together, okay?”
“D’accord,” he whispered, sounding defeated. My heart squeezed.
I rolled over and curled up, still fully clothed, and closed my eyes with the sound of Xavier’s breath in my ears.
Chapter Forty-Nine
XAVIER
Valbonne, Provence, France
“Papa!” Dauphine bounced out of bed and into my arms in two leaps. “You’re home! I already called Josie and I’m ready for my story.” She grabbed my face between her palms and gave me a wet kiss on the forehead.
“What a welcome!” I looked over her shoulder as I set her down to where Martine, my housekeeper, was waiting patiently. “I’m sorry to mess up the bed time routine,” I told her. “My flight was delayed.” I tried not to have overnight stays, but we’d had a pitch for a massive round of investor funding in Geneva. Luckily Martine, my house keeper, was back from staying with her sister.
“Pas de problème.” The older lady smiled, then turned back to Josie, helping her get settled again. “Bon nuit,” she told Dauphine. After I asked Martine how her sister was doing, she left Dauphine and me to it.
“What are we reading tonight?” I asked my daughter instead of asking her how Josie was and how she sounded and was she happy and did she ask about me. I couldn’t