I wanted you.” Every single piece of you I can get, I added silently. Because I love you. I sat back, and his eyes opened and swept down my body.
Suddenly his eyes narrowed at the hand that was still between my legs, and he grabbed it.
Xavier’s flushed face turned agonized as he sucked my fingers into his mouth. “Pour moi,” he said. “I should punish you for trying to take your pleasure away from me when you just stole mine. You cannot have it all.”
Jesus. His erotic words sent me even closer to the edge without laying a finger on me.
Then his fingers replaced mine, then his mouth, and as I gazed up at the cliffs a few moments after that, I realized how fleeting my control was.
We pulled ourselves up the ladder onto the swim deck, laughing and out of breath from racing each other. The music on the boat was still playing. It was slow and powerful, and the woman’s voice sang familiar lyrics in an echo of the feeling I’d just had on the beach with Xavier about it being strange what desire could make foolish people do. I inhaled, feeling the words hit my chest as she cried out desperately that she didn’t want to fall in love. “Is this ‘Wicked Game’? I only know the Chris Isaac version,” I added, my voice nonchalant in a bid to draw attention from the fact that the words were the theme to our entire relationship. And that I was going to fucking cry if I stopped to listen to them.
“The artist’s name is Ursine Vulpine,” Xavier said, handing me a towel from the stack Paco must have left out for us.
“It’s beautiful,” I said as my hair stood on end, and goosebumps raced over my skin. “Haunting. But you need to turn it off.”
Xavier stopped and swallowed. He seemed about to say something and stopped himself. Around us the female singer’s voice grew and enveloped us in her desperate plea to not fall in love.
I watched as Xavier understood what I meant, the words registering, and surprise and regret rippled across his face.
Turning my back on him, I bit down hard, and pretending I needed further drying, concentrated on my legs and arms.
Then his arms were around me. “I’m sorry,” he whispered into my hair. “You are amazing.” He swallowed loudly. “But—”
“I know,” I said quickly, desperate for him not to finish that sentence. I squeezed his forearm. “It’s okay. I meant what I said at lunch. I know what this is. It’s just … this thing between us … it’s more than I planned … it’s difficult.”
He inhaled deeply. “It is,” he admitted. “It is for me too.”
I turned in his arms, and for a moment I could believe he might give us a chance for something beyond two days if he only knew how I felt. It was a scary leap for him. What if I made it first? “I … I’ve never felt like this before.” My voice broke on the admission.
“I’m sorry, Josephine,” he murmured, instead. “I don’t know if I can ever … you deserve so much. You deserve a whole heart.”
His eyes were fixed on mine, begging me to understand.
I laid my hand on his chest. “I’d be content with your broken one,” I whispered.
His throat bobbed thickly, and his eyes closed.
Water filled my vision, spilled down my cheeks, and dripped to the deck.
“Monsieur Pascale!” Paco’s voice suddenly broke the silence. “You are back. Thank God. I was about to sound the emergency horn.”
We both swung around to Paco. He’d aged fifty years since we’d seen him two hours ago.
“There has been an urgent call from the mainland.” He stopped, his face crumbling. “It’s Dauphine,” he said.
Chapter Forty-One
I wasn’t a mother, but even I knew as the shaft of terror cut through me that there was nothing worse than this.
As the anchor clanged back up into place, Paco haltingly repeated what he knew. Madame had taken Dauphine to see the Roman ship exhibit. Arriette’s brother had approached Madame while she waited for Dauphine to return from the restroom. While they talked, someone else must have somehow managed to get to Dauphine. She’d disappeared into thin air. Dauphine was missing.
Xavier’s knees buckled. Both Paco and I lurched forward to grab him. Immediately he shook us off, but his eyes went to another place. His mind had disconnected from his body. We were strangers to him. I followed as he scrambled to find his