the ability to love. And I believe He also places people we need in our path. It is your choice to take Him up on it.”
“What if I’m too afraid?” I asked.
She let out a long, sad sigh. “Then you are too afraid.” She looked out to sea and then back at me. “A life lived in fear is no life at all. Look at the families you are saving, people who lived in fear but are willing to face death and hunger and drowning to get themselves and their children to a better life. A life without fear.” She took my hand and squeezed.
“Well, that certainly puts my drama in perspective,” I said grudgingly.
Sister Maria smiled. “I will say the fact you came here today to find guidance tells me that even though you are afraid, a small voice is telling you that loving Josephine might be worth the risk.”
“I think that small voice might be my libido, not my heart,” I said drily.
Sister Maria crossed herself and slapped the back of my hand.
I smirked, relieved at the break in tension.
“Here.” She tutted and handed me the manila folder she’d tucked under arm. “Let us rejoin Josephine.”
Josephine was quiet in the back of the taxi.
I was too. I was raw after my impromptu confessional with Sister Maria. As the car made its way down the winding road, I instructed the driver to take us on a short tour through the old city and to point landmarks out before returning us to the port.
I looked at my traveling companion and was overcome by the urge to touch her—to close the strange gap that seemed to have sprung up between us. I reached out and took Josephine’s hand, warm and soft, and held it gently on the seat between us atop the manila folder Sister Maria had given me.
Josie looked down at our hands, then up at me. She smiled tentatively. “What’s in the folder?” she asked.
“My project with Sister Maria.”
“Can I see?”
I pursed my lips, unwilling to let go of her hand, but then shrugged and did so. “Of course.”
She took the folder and opened it.
“I haven’t looked yet, myself,” I said as we both looked at the front page, which was a list of names and ages.
Josie frowned and turned the page to the first kid. A picture of a young boy with dark hair and eyes, about twelve was stapled to the top corner. “Is this … a report card?” she asked and turned the page to another kid. This time a bit older. Then another and another.
“Yes. They are not orphans exactly, but they have been separated from their parents. Most of them are from North Africa and Syria. They are targeted to be recruited into a life of crime or worse. So Sister Maria and I work with the local governments and the NGOs to locate them and give them a chance for schooling and a future of some kind, and we also try to locate their families through the refugee camp network.” I swallowed, embarrassed suddenly. I didn’t know why. Maybe I just felt exposed. Like I was trying too hard. Or boasting about my charity.
Josephine’s eyes were on mine, fixed and unreadable.
“I like to see their grades. Maybe give them a further opportunity in time. It’s … it’s not an investment in any way,” I went on as if she’d accused me of something. “It’s just something I do. I think it’s important. I was given so much. And I—”
“Stop,” Josie said. Then she looked away and out the window, hiding her face. She closed the folder and set it back between us.
My heart pounded. What the fuck was that? I didn’t expect her to worship me or anything, but you’d think I’d just shown her the plans for a nuclear power plant that was going to displace a colony of baby sea turtles. A little acknowledgment that I was at least a decent human being would have been nice. “Are you okay?” I asked.
“No.”
“What did I do?”
She turned to face me. Tears on her cheeks, gutting me, her eyes translucent green. “Nothing. I’m sorry,” she said. “It’s absolutely wonderful. I didn’t mean to make you think otherwise. I’m just tired. I get emotional when I’m tired.”
I lifted my hand and touched the water on her cheek. She closed her eyes.
Debating for a split second, I gave into an instinct and chanced a rejection. “Come here,” I said, and meeting no resistance, hauled her