“I don’t see why it should be a problem; we have the space. As long as it’s for just one night. I’m still getting used to having you around.”
I pick up a strange rattle with a plastic pocket full of water. Nathan takes it from me and puts it back on the shelf. It’s then I notice that the giraffe has gone as well. “Seriously?”
“They’re choking hazards.”
“They’re teethers and teddies, you control freak.” Eye roll. “And thank you, I’ll let them know. It’ll be nice to see them. I owe them after all they did after Caleb died.”
He places his arm around my shoulders. “I can’t imagine what you went through, being the one to find him.”
“I didn’t find him,” I bite out, willing myself to say the words. “He died in my arms. I was sprawled across his chest like I usually was when I woke up. That’s not finding him. If I’d found him it would have been a lot harder.”
“What do you mean?”
“His last moments were with me and our baby, comfortable in bed. If I was to die, I’d want it to be just like that, holding the man I love whilst peacefully sleeping.”
He picks up the giraffe and places it in the basket. I almost smile at his attempt to cheer me up. It was subtle but it was still an attempt and I’m grateful for that. “Do you ever think you’ll fall in love again?”
Wow. “No. I can’t give away a part of me that he took with him.”
“Maybe one day.” His head is ducked down, looking at some kind of kids’ bath toy, so I can’t see his face to get a grasp on why he’s asking me these questions. Maybe he’s worried I’ll betray his brother before his ashes have a chance to cool.
“I promised him I’d never leave him…”
This time his head whips up. “You promised him that?”
“Yes.”
“I’m pretty sure that promise became invalid when he passed, Gwen.”
I shrug. “It’s still valid to me.”
He blinks, his face set with a frown. “Let’s go, this place smells of sweat and children.”
“I know, right? It’s a relief from the usual scent of bleach at home,” I joke.
“You’ll get used to it.”
“Funnily enough, Jeanine said that when I first arrived.”
******
We stay in the same hotel as the last time we visited the city. He must have made reservations before we came because they handed him two keys and we came straight to it. We eat and shower, the latter being at separate times obviously. I make his bed on the couch as he showers and climb into the super soft king size. I feel only slightly guilty for taking his bed, but then I get over it as I sink into the mattress and groan with delight.
My eyes close and this time I fall asleep before he exits the bathroom.
“Guinevere?” He calls quietly as I drift into the realm between sleep and waking. His footsteps get closer. “Gwen?”
I’m shocked when the bed dips right beside me but I manage to keep my face relaxed. I’m not sure why I don’t look at him; my curiosity has always been a flaw. Right now I’m curious as to what he wants, but for some reason I know I won’t get the true answer if I’m awake.
“Gwen?” His voice is hushed and a lot closer than a moment ago. His heat sinks through the thick quilt and into me, making my stomach flutter. I feel the smooth leather that covers his fingertips trail up my arm from the dip of my elbow to my inner wrist. My arm tingles and tiny bumps break out over the skin he touches.
He leans forward and this time my breath does hitch. His face gets closer to mine. I can feel his mint scented breath fan across my cheek. My heart races faster than it was and I wonder if he can hear it.
My thoughts are a jumbled mess.
My entire world stops when I feel his nose on mine. It trails gently up to the bridge before slowly moving back down. A barely there touch but I feel it. I feel it everywhere.
I can’t handle it. This shouldn’t be happening and I don’t know why it is. His hand comes up and slides between my cheek and the pillow. He lifts my face ever so slightly, his nose now against the side of mine.