my hands on my hips. “Honestly, I genuinely don’t get it. I thought after yesterday we were friends.”
He cringes. “What about yesterday?”
“The Ferris wheel, the donuts, everything.” I half shout, my anger bubbling to intolerable levels.
“Just because I decided to be kind doesn’t mean you can put yourself or that baby in unnecessary danger.”
“Oh my god,” I laugh, seriously not believing this. I could scream right now. “What the hell is wrong with you?”
He shakes his head, a frown on his face. “Nothing is wrong with me. You’re my brother’s fiancée; I’m just trying to do right by you.”
“Stop bringing up Caleb!”
“It’s true.”
“And completely irrelevant!”
“But still true.”
I throw my hands up and turn away. I’ve had enough of this. “You’re impossible.”
“Don’t walk away from me.”
“If I could run, I would.”
“We’re not done talking.”
“Oh we are.” I look at him over my shoulder, my eyes connecting with his. He looks as angry as I feel. “We are so done. The sooner I get out of here the better.”
“And where will you go? What will you do?” He follows me up the stairs. “I asked you a question.”
Stopping outside my door, I place my hand on the handle and my forehead against the wood. “Do you know what is bad for a baby? Stress. And you are piling it on. I feel like I’m walking on eggshells. You clearly can’t make up your mind on whether or not you like me. It’s best if I leave.”
Something seems to have struck a chord in his system because his face has softened. “You’re right. I apologize for causing you stress.”
“Your apology isn’t accepted. I get he was your brother, but he was also the love of my life.” A flash of pain swims through his light brown eyes. It’s gone in an instant and I wonder why it came in the first place. So far he’s showed no signs of grief over the death of his brother. Has he been hiding it? “I only put him to rest five weeks ago. I should still be a grieving mess, but for you, to make you feel more comfortable, I’ve been trying to perk up a bit. I haven’t had time to grieve properly. You of all people should be the main one to show me compassion right now.”
“I apologized.”
“It was insincere and I don’t want it anyway. Just leave me alone.” I open my door and step inside, making sure to lock it behind me.
I rest my back against the door and listen to him sigh. “It’s not a good idea.” What? “This, you and me, the whole ‘being friends’ thing. I was stupid to try.” Ouch.
His footsteps disappear from earshot after another minute and I let out the breath I didn’t realise I’d been holding.
Lying on my bed I touch my sweet Caleb’s face, my fingertips hating the cold feel of the glass that protects the photo. A tear slides from my eye.
“I’m scared, Caleb,” I admit and hug a pillow tight to my chest. “I’m so damn scared of doing this alone.”
His easy smile shines back at me and, for once, it doesn’t comfort me in the slightest. I want to throw it across my room but my conscience tells me I’ll later regret this, so I refrain.
Chapter Fourteen
“You know? My mother always told me that if I kept pulling a face and the wind changed, my face would stay that way forever,” Jeanine comments, but her attempt to cheer me up hasn’t worked.
“Maybe that’s what’s already happened to me,” I say and move the books from the shelf.
“You don’t have to help me. This is what I get paid to do.”
“I know. I’m nesting I think.” I’ve always nested. Since I was little I’ve been a thorough cleaner. Not to mention the fact I’m bored out of my mind and in need of something to do.
“Well, thank you, it’s nice to have the company.” She slides the couch along the floor and starts sweeping the dust that has gathered beneath it. “Oh and those cakes you made the other day, I thought I’d died and gone to heaven.”
I smile a little. “Thanks. I think Nathan liked them. I came down the next morning and there was only one left in the centre of the plate.” He was considerate enough to save me a cake that I made. I don’t mind; it was nice to see they hadn’t gone unappreciated. Besides, I never would have been able to eat the eight I made