As instructed, someone does in fact bring me tea and a healthy looking mixed leaf salad with boiled chicken and a natural yoghurt for dessert. I don’t hesitate to wolf it down almost angrily. That’s how hungry I am.
Next I flick on the television, sipping my hot tea. My mind wanders as it usually does. I don’t know what to do. The thought of leaving this town behind, this town where I met Caleb, this town where we made love, where we conceived our child and where he died, it’s all too much to bear.
I don’t want to leave but something keeps prodding me, telling me to do it. Part of me wonders if it’s him, throwing tomatoes at me until he gets his own way. He used to do that sometimes. Never hard, only enough to irritate me and normally we’d roll around afterwards.
He said my angry sex was the best sex. I was angry often. This makes me almost smile.
What’s the deal with Nathan? I never really spoke to Caleb about it much, so all I know is that he and Nathan never got on. Nathan stayed behind and Caleb left. Why so much animosity? And if Nathan hated Caleb as much as Caleb hated Nathan, then why is he helping me now?
Guilt?
It’s possible and it’s Nathan’s explanation, but it doesn’t add up right to me.
While pondering on this I call Sasha and let her know my day of events. She doesn’t like the fact I’m leaving any more than I do, but even she agrees I don’t really have any other options. Sigh. I’m too tired to keep tormenting my mind with all of these questions that seem to have no answer. I’m not in a place where I can freely discuss things with Nathan. He seems to hate me so I doubt he’ll want to answer me.
After a few minutes of exploring the hotel room and finding a glass for some water, I decide to bathe in their luxurious bath. I even go all out and add bubbles. Maybe too many, because when I climb in the only thing visible is the hill that is my stomach poking out of the water and through the foam. I love this; it’s relaxing.
Caleb would tell me to relax in the bath and, on the odd occasion that he was too busy to join me, I’d leave the door open and splash a little, pulling his thoughts to the naked female in his tub. He’d give in and five minutes later he’d climb in behind me. Every single time.
After my bath I pull on my nightgown and climb into the large bed. I have no clean clothes and I’m not putting back on the ones I wore just to sleep in. This’ll have to do.
Shoving a pillow between my thighs, I turn off the lamp above my head and try to sleep. Sleep doesn’t come easily, but eventually it does come.
******
My arm is being shaken and words are being spoken rather loudly. “Wake up. Guinevere.” Someone clicks in front of my face. “Guinevere.”
“Five more minutes,” I grumble, my eyes burning. So comfy… need sleep.
“Guinevere!” This time my name is being shouted and my eyes instantly open. Caleb?
My heart sinks when I realise it’s Nathan. Why do they have to look so much alike? “Yeah?”
“Your alarm has been going off for the past thirty minutes,” he snaps and shoves my phone in my hand. “I could hear it from my room next door.”
“Oh, sorry.” I sit up, making sure my nightgown is covering my assets. “I sleep heavily. It’s the pregnancy.”
He only frowns and moves away from the bed to the curtains. With a swift move, he tugs one side open before the other. “Get up. We leave in twenty minutes.”
“Uh-huh,” I say and stretch my arms. Damn, I’m hungry. “Is there anything to eat?”
“We’ll eat when we get there.”
I don’t say anything, mostly because I want him gone. He leaves after a minute of making sure I’m awake and returns ten minutes later with a bag from my car.
“I’ve moved your things into my vehicle.” This is all he says before leaving again.
I quickly get dressed in a loose fitting T-shirt and jeans that barely fit me anymore. My long black hair is sitting okay considering I slept in it and haven’t brushed it, so I leave it how it is. After brushing my teeth, I step outside with my things ready to