“You’re leaving again?” My voice comes out breathy and full of panic and disbelief. “If this is…”
“Not here.” Cold, calm and emotionless brown eyes come to me. A draft hits my body as he passes, causing me to shiver slightly. Or maybe that’s his cold demeanour making me feel slightly chilled.
I follow him into his office and sit in the chair beside his desk. He stares down at a few sheets of paper in front of him, his tongue running across his lower lip. Please don’t be leaving. Don’t leave us.
I say this out loud, my tone pleading, almost begging. Hell, it is begging. I’ll beg if I have to.
“I’m not leaving,” he says calmly and looks at me, his inner businessman shining through. “You are.”
Thud… my heart just hit my stomach. “What?”
“It’s time for you to go back to your mum’s.”
I… I’m leaving? “What?”
“You heard me.” He looks down at the papers again and spreads them out along the desk. “You may leave now.”
I stare at him, my body frozen in place, my heart beat non-existent.
“I said you can go.”
“I heard you, I just… I can’t move,” I mutter, my body still with shock. “You’re throwing me out.” This is a statement, not a question.
“We knew this time would come eventually.”
“But… you promised you wouldn’t, so no, in fact I didn’t know it would come,” I argue. “What about Dillan?”
His calm and uncaring expression doesn’t change. “I’ll see him when I can.” And the promise? I get no apology for his breaking that?
“You’re kidding,” I breathe, grabbing at my stomach like I’ve just been punched. “Please tell me you’re kidding.”
“Do I look like I’m joking to you?” He hisses and holds his hand out, motioning for me to leave.
“Is this because of what happened?” It suddenly dawns on me. “You’re doing this on purpose, pushing me away to stop me from finding out whatever it is you’re keeping buried.”
“No,” he sighs and rubs his face with his hands. “This is because I’m bored of playing daddy and loving husband to a woman who…” His jaw clenches and his words stop.
“Look,” I lean onto the desk. “If this is because I… it’s just… gah. I mean…” I won’t ask again. You’re more important to me than whatever the hell it is that’s ruining our bubble right now. “I won’t bring up the envelope again, I swear. Just let me be here for you.”
“It’s not about that,” he says, almost sounding bored. “I’m over that. I made a serious misjudgement and I won’t be making it again. The envelope has been dealt with.”
“I don’t believe you,” I state defiantly. This is rubbish, utter rubbish. I’m not falling for it and I’m not letting him push me away.
“Guinevere…”
“No.” I walk around the desk and kneel on the ground before him. My body is aching with a pain I don’t recognise. It hurts, a lot, and I need it to stop. I grip his knees and peer up at him through my lashes. “I promise I won’t ask and if I do happen to find out, you have my word that…”
“Don’t make promises you can’t keep,” he snarls, his gloved hands pulling at my wrists in an attempt to get me to release his legs. Why’s he wearing his gloves again?
I stand immediately and take a large step backwards, seeing that he needs space. “Okay.” My hand goes to my throbbing chest in an attempt to stop my heart from smashing through my ribcage and throwing itself out of the closest window. I try a new tactic. “I know what you’re doing and you know that I know what you’re doing. It won’t work. Do your worst. If you think I’m leaving you when you’re clearly going through something that’s dragging you down, you’re wrong.” I give him the bravest face I can muster. “You’re my best friend. Besides, what happened to never stopping until you had me? Does that no longer count?”
“No.” He clears his throat and waves me away. “This was a misjudgement made by me. I thought we should have been more. In reality I’d just deprived myself of sex for too long.”
Why does this hurt? Why do I want to smash something? “Oh.”
“I’m seeing somebody.”
Eye roll. “Oh yeah? Who?”
He continues like I haven’t even spoken. “So I’ll need you to leave. It was awkward enough when I had Lorna visiting while you remained here and she didn’t mean anything to me.” His eyes darken and his lips curve with