“What’s wrong?” I’m a little out of breath and the baby doesn’t appreciate the jostling around. If its insistent kicking of my internal organs are anything to go by, I’d say he’s pretty darn pissed at being disturbed.
I see Nathan’s hand in the dark, covered in black leather, and it pats the bed beside him where the blanket is pulled back, almost doubled over on his side.
My mind tells me not to sit so I don’t. I look down at him, only a few inches from the bed. “What?”
“Sit,” he mumbles, his eyes closed.
“Why?”
His eyes open, the light brown almost glowing in the dark. “Sit.”
“’Kay.” I sit. I don’t feel comfortable because for some reason I feel way too comfortable. Part of me is clenching inside, whispering things to my brain, telling me to fill it with a forbidden tool.
I’m a slut.
His arm snags me around the waist, forcing me back into the pillow. My body tenses. “What are you doing, Nathan?”
“Using you as my radiator,” he lies and I know he’s lying because he’s making no attempt to hide the fact that he’s hard.
“We shouldn’t be doing this.” It’s wrong, so wrong.
“I know.” He doesn’t sound like he cares though. “I like having you with me like this.”
“Nathan…” I warn.
He continues, ignorant of my tone. “Just while I’m ill. Just tonight. I won’t have the courage to ask you again.”
“This is a bad idea.” I sigh but find myself relaxing into him. “But it’s nice too.”
“Yeah.” He nuzzles the back of my neck, causing me to tense. “Relax.”
“Your thing is between my legs, Nathan.” I try to frown but it doesn’t come, especially when I feel him twitch. A fit of nervous giggles bubbles up from within. Nathan’s body starts shaking with mine, his laughter silent. “Stop it, it’s not funny.”
“My head hurts,” he moans and seems to bury his face in my hair.
“Have you had any painkillers yet?”
“Yes, Mum.”
I shudder., “Calling me that, right at this point in time, makes this even seedier.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“Go to sleep, Nathan.” I place my hand on the pillow by my head and let out a long breath. “Nathan?” I call quietly into the darkness, my head swimming with thoughts.
He doesn’t respond. The only sound that can be heard from him is his soft breathing.
A line has been crossed. A line that should never have been crossed.
I sit at my vanity table freshly showered and preparing for the day. The mascara brush is held tightly between my fingers as I pull it along my long lashes. Green eyes stare back at me in the mirror. Troubled eyes with a million secrets and emotions hiding behind the clear irises.
I place the wand down on the desk and chew on my lip as I gather my thoughts.
This morning I snuck out of bed before Nathan awoke. It’s now only seven fifteen and I doubt he’ll be up any time soon. I feel the need to flee before he wakes. At least I have a plan for how to handle this situation, albeit not a very good one.
My hopes are dashed when my bedroom door swings open and he strolls in, looking freshly showered and ready for the day. I’m annoyed that he didn’t knock first. “We need to talk.”
“Yeah,” I agree because we really do need to talk, even though I don’t want to address anything that has happened between us lately.
His long legs carry him to me in three quick strides, his hand reaching for the desk drawer. I watch him pull out the envelope that has been the cause of my nightmares as of late. “You haven’t brought this up, but I can see you’ve read it.”
My eyes meet his in the mirror, my mouth falling open. I have no words to explain why I’ve not said anything, other than the fact I just don’t want to. That and he’s been poorly.
“I can only assume this means you’re thinking about it?” His sentence is a question and I notice his nerves. Nathan is nervous. I’m suddenly realising a side to him that I didn’t know existed. Never has he looked more vulnerable than he does now, despite the hardening features. He lets out a laugh. “Or, by the looks of your panicked eyes and trembling hands, I’d say you already have an answer and I’m guessing it’s not the answer I want to hear.”
My mouth closes, then opens and then closes again. I let out a sigh and