Bridgerton Collection, Volume 2 - Julia Quinn Page 0,247

hand, then glanced out the window, clearly unconcerned.

Such faith in him, Phillip realized. Such faith in his inner goodness, in the quality of his soul, when he’d been wracked by doubt for so many years.

And then he felt he had to be honest, had to come clean, and before he knew what he was about, he blurted out, “I thought you’d left me.”

“Last night?” She turned to him in shock. “Whyever would you think that?”

He shrugged self-deprecatingly. “Oh, I don’t know. It might be because you left for your brother’s house and never came back.”

She hmmphed at that. “It’s clear now why I was detained, and besides, I would never leave you. You should know that.”

He quirked a brow. “Should I?”

“Of course you should,” she said, looking rather cross with him. “I made a vow in that church, and I assure you I do not take such things lightly. Besides, I made a commitment to Oliver and Amanda to be their mother, and I would never turn my back on that.”

Phillip regarded her steadily, then murmured, “No. No, you wouldn’t. Silly of me not to have thought of that.”

She sat back and crossed her arms. “Well, you should have done. You know me better than that.” And then, when he did not say anything more, she added, “Those poor children. They have already lost one mother through no fault of their own. I’m certainly not going to run off and make them go through all that again.”

She turned to him with a supremely irritated expression. “I cannot believe you even thought that of me.”

Phillip was beginning to wonder the same thing himself. He’d only known Eloise—Dear God, could it possibly have been only two weeks? It felt, in many ways, like a lifetime. Because he did feel he knew her, inside and out. She’d always have her secrets, of course, as all people did, and he was quite certain he’d never understand her, since he couldn’t imagine ever understanding anyone female.

But he knew her. He was quite certain he knew her. And he should have known better than to have worried that she’d abandoned their marriage.

It must have been panic, pure and simple. And, he supposed, because it was better to think she’d left him than to imagine her dead in a ditch by the side of the road. With the former he could at least storm her brother’s house and drag her home.

If she’d died . . .

He was unprepared for the pain he felt in his gut at the mere thought.

When had she come to mean so much to him? And what was he going to do to keep her happy?

Because he needed her happy. Not just, as he’d been telling himself, because a happy Eloise meant that his life would continue to run smoothly. He needed her happy because the mere thought of her unhappy was like a knife in his heart.

The irony was well aimed, indeed. He’d told himself, over and over, that he’d married her to be a mother to his children, but just now, when she’d declared that she would never leave their marriage, that her commitment to the twins was too strong—

He’d felt jealous.

He’d actually felt jealous of his own children. He’d wanted her to mention the word wife, and all he’d heard was mother.

He wanted her to want him. Him. Not just because she’d made a vow in a church, but because she was quite convinced she could not live without him. Maybe even because she loved him.

Loved him.

Dear God, when had this happened? When had he come to want so much from marriage? He’d married her to mother his children; they both knew that.

And then there was the passion. He was a man, for God’s sake, and he’d not lain with a woman for eight years. How could he not be drunk on the feel of Eloise’s skin next to his, on the sound of her whimpers and moans when she exploded around him?

On the pure force of his own pleasure every time he entered her?

He’d found everything he’d ever wanted in a marriage. Eloise ran his life to perfection by day and warmed his bed with the skill of a courtesan by night. She fulfilled his every desire so well that he hadn’t noticed that she’d done something more.

She’d found his heart. She’d touched it, changed it. Changed him.

He loved her. He hadn’t been looking for love, hadn’t even given a thought to it, but there it was, and it