Brick Brick (Knights Corruption MC - Next Generation, #4) - S. Nelson Page 0,118

to drop back down, his fingers flexing repeatedly.

Telling him I was fine would be a lie.

Telling him I was dealing with what happened would be a lie.

Telling him I’d rather be dead than have to succumb to the memories that plagued me every waking hour would be the truth, but I didn’t want to lay that at his feet.

He didn’t deserve it.

Instead, I simply shook my head, glancing up at his face before looking away again.

“Zoe… I… I’m so sorry, for everything. I can’t even begin to tell you how much I….” His words trailed off and the air between us became overwhelmingly stifled. I dared to look up at him again only to notice he wasn’t looking at me, but over at the corner by the door. I followed his line of vision and tensed. My suitcase and carry-on bag rested against the wall. “Are you going somewhere?” he finally asked, his posture straightening, his muscles coiled tightly. His expression gave nothing away, except for the deep frown line between his brown eyes.

“Yes.”

He followed up his question with another. “Where?” His hand landed on his chest, resting over his heart. “Where are you goin’?”

“Back to London. I can’t be here right now. I’m going to stay with Andy for a while until I can get a handle on things.” I said more than I intended but not more than he deserved to hear.

“You’re gonna stay with Andy for a while until you get a handle on things.” He echoed my words back to me. “You’re gonna stay with your ex.”

“She’s just my friend.” Brick’s lips pressed firmly together, trapping whatever words he wanted to say behind them. “I can’t stay here,” I repeated.

“What about us?” He was in front of me before I realized he’d moved from his spot, his hands landing softly on my upper arms, and even though I hadn’t meant to react to his touch, I cringed.

“I can’t.” My vision blurred with unshed tears. “I’m sorry.”

“I know you hate me but please don’t do this. Please don’t go. Let me take care of you, help you get through this.”

I wanted to scream at him that I’d never get through this, that I needed to be as far from this place as possible, but all I could focus on was the first part of what he said.

“I don’t hate you. Why would you think that?”

“Because you told me.”

“When?”

He removed his hands and buried his fingers in the thick of his hair. “The first night at the cabin.”

Racking my brain to try and recover that conversation, I inwardly flinched when I recalled the memory. “I was in a dark place, still am, and whatever I said to you that night, I didn’t mean.” My sadness escaped and trailed down my cheek. “I don’t hate you, Matteo. I…” I clamped my mouth shut briefly, killing the words resting on the tip of my tongue. “I don’t at all,” I finally said, swallowing the need to run into his arms and seek the comfort he offered.

“Please don’t go,” he whispered. “Stay with me. I promise to help you, to take care of you.” The slight quiver of his bottom lip tugged at the deepest part of me, my soul splintering apart at having to witness his sliver of defeat.

“I need to go.”

“Please.” He reached to touch me again, but I backed away, and his expression morphed into one of heartache. “You’re rippin’ my goddamn heart out, Zoe.”

His raised voice didn’t startle me like I thought it would. It was the look of utter despair he wore that frightened me because I didn’t know how to process his reaction, or what to say in return. My hurt and anguish prevented my true feelings from surfacing, hidden away deep down.

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry. Just don’t go.” Brick didn’t know what to do with himself and his resolve dwindled the more I refused to give in to him. He was hurting, I could see it written all over his face, but I couldn’t worry about him right now. I had to worry about me. How I felt. What I wanted, even though I wasn’t sure what that was yet. I had to learn how to deal with the attack in order to start to move forward, something I didn’t even think was possible at this point. But I had to try, and I couldn’t do it here, with constant reminders everywhere.

“I can’t.” My feet took me back a step and he finally decided