Breathe Me - C.R. Jane Page 0,73

a corner, and I'm not sure any of you are prepared for what that action means."

I feel my brows crease in the middle of my forehead with my father’s warning lingering in the air. Silently, I walk back into my room, my mind and soul conflicted with his ominous caution. As I step further into my bedroom, I notice Carter is at his window waiting for me. He raises his phone indicating I pick up mine. Luckily, Dad hadn’t confiscated it, but who knows if he’ll change his mind.

"You okay?" Carter asks.

"I'm grounded for the first time in my life, so I'm not sure."

"Your dad will get over it. Don't worry," he replies nonchalantly, and I’m not sure why, but the way he brushes aside my dad’s disapproval irks me the wrong way.

"You could have said something. Maybe even apologized," I snap revealing I’m not one bit pleased he can so easily discard my dad’s feelings.

"For what? Kissing you? I'll never apologize for that."

I stare at him and see conviction in his dark eyes.

"He's not wrong, you know? We're still kids."

"You and I were never kids, Valentina, and your dad knows it,” he quips back unapologetically. “But whatever. We were only kissing. Not fucking."

My cheeks flush instantly. The way Carter says the word so effortlessly means he's totally comfortable with the idea. I'm not though. Dad was right on that account. I might be curious, but I know innocent kisses are as far as I’m willing to go. For now at least.

"You're thinking too hard,” Carter coos on the line, bringing my attention back to him. “We were just messing around. I didn't dishonor you in any way."

I lower my head and maul at my lower lip nervously, thinking if that’s what we were just doing.

"Look at me, Valentina. We did nothing wrong."

"Then how come I feel like we were about to? Don't you feel just a little bit guilty?"

"No," he deadpans.

"Well, I do."

"Why?"

"I'm not sure if it’s fair to Logan and Quaid," I admit, the nagging feeling of guilt finally revealing its cause.

"What do they have to do with it?" Carter clips back aloof.

Is he kidding?! They have everything to do with it.

"You kissed me, and I kissed you back. That's what people do when they feel the way we feel for each other. Our age shouldn't be a factor," he adds when I’ve grown silent.

"I don't want to do something that I'm not ready for."

Even though our two bedroom windows are only a few feet away from each other, the distance feels as if it’s growing bigger by the second with his silence.

"Fine, Valentina,” he finally utters with a shrug. “I waited two years for you to kiss me again, so I can wait another two." He smirks.

"You're really that confident, aren't you?"

"Yes, I am."

I roll my eyes, and even though we are far away from each other, his little chuckle lets me know he saw me do it.

"You need time. I'll give it to you."

"Thank you." I smile at him gratefully.

"No problem. But, Valentina?"

"Yes?"

"One day, you will have to choose. And on that day, you better believe it’s going to be me," he exclaims self-assured.

"Goodnight," I tell him softly and hang up the phone.

I close the curtains so he's not able to see inside my room, needing some privacy to make sense of all of this, especially his last words.

Is that what Carter believes I was doing by kissing him? That somehow, I'm choosing him above the other two boys that mean just as much to me as he does? And is that the real reason why my dad grounded me? Because he’s worried I'm choosing one above the others, when I'm not sure yet that's what I even want to do?

Because it’s not.

I don't want to choose. Not now, not ever.

All my father’s advice starts to make sense. Dad said I should nurture and protect what we have, our friendship, our budding love, so that's what I need to do. Make sure that all of them see that my heart belongs to all of them—not just one.

We have time.

There really is no rush.

We have time.

Right?

Time has never really been a friend of mine, but I hope it is now, because I need it. I need time to make the boys I love understand that I will never choose just one and make them be okay with it. They all have a piece of me, and even if they don’t realize it yet, I’ve got to be