I stole from Francis’s bar, bringing it to my lips. “I really fucked myself over. Who would willingly marry a man like that?” But even with my scathing words, I don’t feel them. Toby is a dick for sure, but there’s something underlying there. A hurt man. Secrets. Maybe even some heartbreak. Either way, if he loves as well as his body fucks, he’s got to be a good-ass guy.
“He’s not so bad,” she muses. “When I was younger, I used to tell Ace that I was going to marry him.” The words tumble out, but Ace... that name. Ace must be that childhood love of hers.
“Is that so?” I ignore the nagging inside me that seeks more information. She’ll tell me her story when she’s ready and I’ll be here for her.
“Yeah.” She giggles and takes the bottle from my hand, taking a swig and choking on the fumes. “Uncle Toby always took care of me. I was in love.”
My heart feels warm at her words, and it has nothing to do with the alcohol.
“I guess it made sense, especially since my mom hated me and my father was dead. Toby and Jase were stand-in father figures to me. I loved them. So much.” A tear slips free. “Lost them both so easily though.”
I take the bottle from her and chug for a second. There’s not enough booze in the world to mask this girl’s hurt. Hell, if not for the booze and my hardened interior, I’d be her. A sad mess of tears and resentment. But that’s what happens when you harden yourself to pain.
Not even the good stuff slips through.
“Reconnect, Gray.”
“Can’t. I don’t want to be a burden. I don’t look like my mother, but I’m a reminder of all the havoc she wreaked on everyone.”
“Try. Especially before you run back off to France.”
“H-How’d you know?”
“You had pamphlets on the table in the dining room. Figured you had your mind set on starting afresh.”
She nods solemnly. “I don’t want to see Ace again.”
“Then don’t. See Jase and his wife. Go reconnect. What if this is your last chance?”
“You’re right. I’m scared.”
“Fear is for the fish. Be you and fierce. Don’t let anyone stop you. Not even some tool with a silly name like Ace.”
She chuckles and nods at me.
We drink until the bottle is empty, which doesn’t take long since it wasn’t full to start with. I’m riding a buzz, and Gray is passed out. Who said drunk texting was for the birds?
Got some news today, I send to my boss. Fuck. He is my boss now. Isn’t he? We have this mutual nothingness. Like we don’t talk, fuck, or anything in between. We exist, but right now, with a fifth of vodka swimming through me, I want him. It comes and goes. That’s what my vibrator is for, to satisfy the ache Toby left me with.
Is this about work?
No.
Then why are you texting me, Sous? My body warms at the name, and I can even hear his deep timbre saying it. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. I’m so far gone for this asshole, and he has no idea.
It pertains to you, dick. Shit. Maybe calling your boss a dick isn’t the brightest idea. I never said I was the brightest light bulb in the package, though.
Call me dick again, Sous. I’ll definitely show you how true that statement is. My body warms and fucking boils moments later as I remember him taking me against my car and telling me I’m his. But he didn’t keep me. Maybe I’m only his for when he’s ready and willing. Wouldn’t be a surprise. Men like Toby, with possessive streaks, only want to be controlling when it’s in their best interest.
We’re married, Toby. Did you know that? It’s all I could offer. A Band-Aid. Telling him I want his dick inside me isn’t an option. He’s my boss, and this job has been phenomenal. Not just an experience, but for my mood. Everyone loves my cooking. The restaurant’s ratings have skyrocketed because of me. If that’s not an ego boost, then I’m not sure what is.
Instead of a text message, my phone lights up. Toby is calling, and I really want to be a teenager and chuck the phone across the room. As tempting as that is, Gray is sleeping next to me, so I have to be quiet.
I tiptoe out of the room before I answer. “H-Hello,” I mutter, my words a little slurred.