make me happy, to not slip and show how much this cost him.
I'd never done anything good enough to deserve a friend like Jacob.
"When did you decide to come back?"
"Consciously or subconsciously?" He took a deep breath before he answered his own question. "I don't really know. I guess I've been wandering back this direction for a while, and maybe it's because I was headed here. But it wasn't until this morning that I really started running. I didn't know if I could make it." He laughed. "You wouldn't believe how weird this feels - walking around on two legs again. And clothes! And then it's more bizarre because it feels weird. I didn't expect that. I'm out of practice with the whole human thing."
We revolved steadily.
"It would have been a shame to miss seeing you like this, though. That's worth the trip right there. You
look unbelievable, Bella. So beautiful."
"Alice invested a lot of time in me today. The dark helps, too."
"It's not so dark for me, you know."
"Right." Werewolf senses. It was easy to forget all the things he could do, he seemed so human. Especially right now.
"You cut your hair," I noted.
"Yeah. Easier, you know. Thought I'd better take advantage of the hands."
"It looks good," I lied.
He snorted. "Right. I did it myself, with rusty kitchen shears." He grinned widely for a moment, and then his smile faded. His expression turned serious. "Are you happy, Bella?"
"Yes."
"Okay." I felt his shoulders shrug. "That's the main thing, I guess."
"How are you, Jacob? Really?"
"I'm fine, Bella, really. You don't need to worry about me anymore. You can stop bugging Seth."
"I'm not just bugging him because of you. I like Seth."
"He's a good kid. Better company than some. I tell you, if I could get rid of the voices in my head, being a wolf would be about perfect."
I laughed at the way it sounded. "Yeah, I can't get mine to shut up, either."
"In your case, that would mean you're insane. Of course, I already knew that you were insane," he teased.
"Thanks."
"Insanity is probably easier than sharing a pack mind. Crazy people's voices don't send babysitters to watch them."
"Huh?"
"Sam's out there. And some of the others. Just in case, you know."
"In case of what?"
"In case I can't keep it together, something like that. In case I decide to trash the party." He flashed a quick
smile at what was probably an appealing thought to him. "But I'm not here to ruin your wedding, Bella.
I'm here to .. ." He trailed off.
"To make it perfect."
"That's a tall order."
"Good thing you're so tall."
He groaned at my bad joke and then sighed. "I'm just here to be your friend. Your best friend, one last time."
"Sam should give you more credit."
"Well, maybe I'm being oversensitive. Maybe they'd be here anyway, to keep an eye on Seth. There are a lot of vampires here. Seth doesn't take that as seriously as he should."
"Seth knows that he's not in any danger. He understands the Cullens better than Sam does."
"Sure, sure," Jacob said, making peace before it could turn into a fight.
It was strange to have him being the diplomat.
"Sorry about those voices," I said. "Wish I could make it better." In so many ways.
"It's not that bad. I'm just whining a little."
"You're... happy?"
"Close enough. But enough about me. You're the star today." He chuckled. "I bet you're just loving that. Center of attention."
"Yeah. Can't get enough attention."
He laughed and then stared over my head. With pursed lips, he studied the shimmering glow of the reception party, the graceful whirl of the dancers, the fluttering petals falling from the garlands; I looked with him. It all seemed very distant from this black, quiet space. Almost like watching the white flurries swirling inside a snow globe.
"I'll give them this much," he said. "They know how to throw a party."
"Alice is an unstoppable force of nature."
He sighed. "Song's over. Do you think 1 get another one? Or is that asking too much?"
I tightened my hand around his. "You can have as many dances as you want."
He laughed. "That would be interesting. I think I'd better stick with two, though. Don't want to start talk."
We turned in another circle.
"You'd think I'd be used to telling you goodbye by now," he murmured.
I tried to swallow the lump in my throat, but I couldn't force it down.
Jacob looked at me and frowned. He wiped his fingers across my cheek, catching the tears there.
"You're not supposed to be the one crying, Bella."