like everyone else. Because she couldn't be pregnant - not unless there was some really freaky religious immaculate crap going on. She hadn't been with anyone since Sam. And then, when the weeks dragged on and nothing turned into more nothing, she'd realized that her body wasn't following the normal patterns anymore. The horror - what was she now? Had her body changed because she'd become a werewolf? Or had she become a werewolf because her body was wrong? The only female werewolf in the history of forever. Was that because she wasn't as female as she should be?
None of us had wanted to deal with that breakdown. Obviously, it wasn't like we could empathize.
You know why Sam thinks we imprint,she thought, calmer now.
Sure. To carry on the line.
Right. To make a bunch of new little werewolves. Survival of the species, genetic override. You're drawn to the person who gives you the best chance to pass on the wolf gene.
I waited for her to tell me where she was qoinq with this.
If I was any good for that, Sam would have been drawn tome.
Her pain was enough that I broke stride under it.
But I'm not There's something wrong with me. I don't have the ability to pass on the gene, apparently, despite my stellar bloodlines. So I become a freak - the girlie-wolf - good for nothing else. I'm a genetic dead end and we both know it.
We do not,I argued with her. That's just Sam's theory. Imprinting happens, but we don't know why. Billy thinks it's something else.
I know, I know. He thinks you're imprinting to makestronger wolves. Because you and Sam are such humongous monsters - bigger than our fathers. But either way, I'm still not a candidate. I'm... I'm menopausal. I'm twenty years old and I'm menopausal.
Ugh. I so didn't want to have this conversation. You don't know that, Leah. It's probably just the whole frozen-in-time thing. When you quit your wolf and start getting older again, I'm sure things will... er... pick right back up.
might think that - except that no one's imprinting onme, notwithstanding my impressive pedigree. You know, she added thoughtfully, if you weren't around, Seth would probably have the best claim to being Alpha - through his blood, at least. Of course, no one would ever consider me....
You reallywant to imprint, or be imprinted on, or whichever? I demanded. What's wrong with going out and falling in love like a normal person, Leah? Imprinting is just another way of getting your choices taken away from you.
Sam, Jared, Paul, Quit... they don't seem to mind.
None of themhave a mind of their own.
You don't want to imprint?
Hell, no!
That's just because you're already in love withher. That would go away, you know, if you imprinted. You wouldn't have to hurt over her anymore.
Do you want to forget the way you feel about Sam?
She deliberated for a moment. think I do.
I sighed. She was in a healthier place than I was.
But back to my original point, Jacob. I understand why your blond vampire is so cold - in the figurative sense. She's focused. She's got her eyes on the prize, right? Because you always want the very most what you can never, ever have.
You would act like Rosalie? You would murder someone - because that's what she's doing, making sure no one interferes with Bella's death - you would do that to have a baby? Since when are you a breeder?
I just want the options I don't have, Jacob. Maybe, if there was nothing wrong with me, I would never give it a thought.
You would kill for that?I demanded, not letting her escape my question.
That's not what she's doing. I think it's more like she's living vicariously. And... if Bella askedme to help her with
this...She paused, considering. Even though I don't think too much of her, I'd probably do the same as the bloodsucker.
A loud snarl ripped through my teeth.
Because, if it was turned around, I'd want Bella to do that for me. And so would Rosalie. We'd both do it her way.
Ugh! You're as bad as they are!
That's the funny thing about knowing you can't have something. It makes you desperate.
And.. . that's my limit Right there. This conversation is over.
Fine.
It wasn't enough that she'd agreed to stop. I wanted a stronger termination than that.
I was only about a mile from where I'd left my clothes, so I phased back to human and walked. I didn't think about our conversation. Not because there wasn't anything to