Brazen Tricks - Ali Dean Page 0,64

in her eye.

“You okay?” I ask.

She sways for a beat, and I notice her usual confident, even sultry, pose is entirely absent from her stance.

“You have everything, Jordan. Everything I’ve always wanted, and will never get.”

I blink a few times, uncertain if I’m hearing her correctly. The way she’s transformed into a different person is eerily similar to what happened with Fliss when she held me at gunpoint in my own bedroom. A chill goes down my spine.

“I don’t have everything,” I respond lamely, because I have no idea what else to do or say. The truth is, I’ve been feeling on top of the world lately. Her words resonate, but not in a way that validates I’ve hit my stride in life; no, it feels like she’s holding a brick over me that she’ll drop at any second. Maybe I’m suffering from some sort of post-traumatic stress experience.

“I’ve tried so hard, and I’ll never have it all like you.” She waves a shaky arm around in the space between us. “The friends, the sponsors, the house, the lifestyle, everyone’s respect and admiration,” she continues, a mixture of disgust and resignation filling each word. “Now you’ve won the X Games, landed a 720 of all things, and Beck.” Her voice cracks when she says his name, and she takes a big gulp of air.

I feel like I should be doing something, but I can’t take my eyes off of her.

“He’ll never see me like he sees you. Even if I’d taken out your legs somehow a year ago and you’d never skated again, he’d still love you.”

Her eyes shutter closed as I process her words. Take out my legs? That’s a threat ingrained in my brain.

“Wait, are you bubblerollie?” It’s weird to say that silly Instagram handle in the midst of this conversation, but it tumbles out of my mouth anyway.

Her eyes open but she doesn’t answer. “And the irony is, you did crash and disappear from his life right when filming started, like I hoped. You couldn’t even skateboard, like I’d wanted. But that didn’t change anything.”

I sense someone joining us on the deck, but my eyes don’t leave Camila because she’s now walking toward the edge of the balcony.

“I’ll never have any of it. No matter what I do, no matter how much I’m willing to sacrifice, I’ll always be the loser.”

It’s not until she starts climbing the railing that I’m jolted to action.

“Camila, no! What are you doing?”

She doesn’t answer, and when I try to grab her arm, she pushes me off with more force than I’m expecting. Stumbling back, by the time I gain my footing, she’s sitting on the ledge. Her feet dangle over the other side, a five-story drop below.

My next breaths are shallow and accompanied by a strong need to throw up. Since I haven’t had anything to eat in several hours, nothing actually comes up when my stomach clenches.

“Why are you doing this, Camila?” I ask, unable to hide the desperation in my voice. If I ask her questions, she’ll answer, right? And if I can stall her, maybe I can get her to come down somehow.

“You’ll never understand. You have it all, and I’ve got nothing. No sponsors, no promise of a career, not even the interest of the right guys. It started with Beck, but now you’ve taken everything I’ve ever wanted. You win.”

“No, Camila, that’s not true,” I start, scrambling to try to explain how much she has going for her, but uncertain how to talk someone off a literal ledge.

Another voice joins us. “This is my fault.”

My eyes snap to Sarah Kase, who is approaching slowly, but hasn’t stopped moving as she gets closer to the balcony.

A bizarre sound erupts from Camila, some sort of painful cackle. “It was you first I’d never live up to, so it makes sense you’re here to see me give up and end it all.”

“I was a bitch. I rubbed it in,” Sarah says. “But it was only because I was jealous of you, Camila. I might beat you at comps, but you’re the one who turns heads. So many girls in there are jealous of you Camila, believe me. You have so much going for you. Please come down and have dinner with us.”

Camila looks over her shoulder. She starts to move, and my heart jumps into my throat. Now she’s up on her knees. “No, it’s over. I’ll never be good enough,” she says so quietly I barely make out