Brazen Girl by Ali Dean Page 0,66
making it work so maybe I made a mistake.” Her lower lip trembles. “I really made a mistake,” she repeats with more conviction. “I know I did. Oh shit. You guys! I’ve even tried flirting with other guys and I don’t know what my deal is but I can never go through with it.”
She’s sobbing now, and I unbuckle my seatbelt to slide to the middle so I can comfort her. “It’s been months and I’m still not over Taylor. I don’t know what to do.” She hiccups and sniffles as I wrap my arms around her. “What if he brings girls back to the house this weekend?”
As I rub her back and try to soothe her, Lucy reaches and pats Ellie’s knee. “Do you really want him back, Ellie?”
She nods as she soaks my shirt with her tears. “I got scared and made a mistake.”
“I can relate, Ellie. I did that with Beck. He took me back.”
Ellie starts to wipe her tears and take deep breaths. “But that’s not the same.”
“No two relationships are the same,” Lucy says in her wise motherly voice. “But that doesn’t mean you can’t talk to Taylor about this.”
“But it’s Taylor Sly. I’m sure he’s moved on. I don’t even want to think about what he was up to while he was traveling to competitions all summer after I dumped him. That was my other excuse, by the way. But clearly, if Beck and Jordan can do long distance for months, that’s a lousy excuse too.”
“From what I’ve heard from Beck, Taylor’s still moping around over you,” I say, uncertain if I’m breaking some sort of code by sharing this. But it seems to be the right thing to say, because Ellie’s tears stop and she sits up straighter.
“Really?”
“I don’t know everything that’s going on with him, but from what I’ve seen, he did change when he was with you and he hasn’t gone back to the way he was before.” I hope I’m right. I don’t want to set Ellie up for heartbreak. Then again, she’s clearly already suffering from heartbreak. If I’ve learned one thing this past year, it’s that we need to go after what we want, even when it’s scary. Give it a shot, even if we fail. Ellie seems to realize what she wants, and is ready to admit she made a mistake. We all make mistakes. It’s how we handle them afterward that counts.
“I love these posts, Jordan! You really put it out there and I think it will resonate with people more than you think,” Phoebe tells me on the phone the next morning. “I mean, people need to know you’re not perfect and then maybe they’ll be nicer to you,” she adds.
“We’ll see. No mean comments or messages yet.”
“Well you’ve got a team of like a dozen of us monitoring and waiting to pounce so I’ll actually be kind of disappointed if you don’t get one jealous bitch hating on you.”
“Just wait until Beck tells everyone I’m his girlfriend. That will bring them out.”
I’m the first one awake in the rental house, unable to sleep with the anticipation of competing today. As I finish catching up with Phoebe and she heads to work, Beck comes down. His hands slide around my waist and his lips go to my neck as I pour coffee.
“Mmmmm,” he mumbles into my collarbone.
I grab a second cup and pour some for him too. “I love your morning noises.”
“Morning noises? I have morning noises?”
“Yeah, you have a morning voice too. Like you’re not quite ready to talk yet. It’s sweet, because I know I’m the only one who gets to hear it.”
I turn to give him his coffee and he’s eyeing me suspiciously. After taking a sip, he asks, “Really? I didn’t know this about myself.”
“That’s what happens when you’re with someone a while. I’m starting to know more about you than you know about yourself. Freaky, huh?”
“You have way too much spunk first thing in the morning, Hotshot,” he tells me, still with his grumbly sleepy voice.
“I already know this about myself, Beck. You’ll have to keep trying.” Okay, probably too early to throw sass but I’m really excited to hit the park today.
“I’ll start breakfast,” Beck offers. “Maybe by the time I’m done I’ll have my normal voice back.”
The others trickle in over the next hour and most of them get on their phones as soon as they hit the coffee pot. I sent the second post, the second half