Brazen Girl by Ali Dean Page 0,64

that I should’ve dealt with even before Jordan came into my life. But it doesn’t matter. I don’t have any regrets about it.

Jordan’s skating around the park, checking out the features, but not actually hitting any of them.

“Want to drop in with me?” I call out as I balance on the coping of the smaller bowl.

She skates over and balances next to me. Jordan doesn’t say anything but the intensity coming from her is fierce. She turns to look at me and when our eyes connect she drops in.

I’m right behind her as we carve figure-eights and pick up speed. When she catches air and exits the bowl after only a minute, she doesn’t slow down or take a break. Instead she heads straight to the bigger bowl. Jordan pauses at the ledge of the steep drop in, but only to glance over her shoulder and smile at me. “You coming in with me?”

“You want me to?”

She nods and then turns to face the vert. With one deep breath, she tilts her board forward and disappears from sight for an instant before coming back into view. Jordan’s tucked low, and as usual, I’m too mesmerized by her to think of anything else. It isn’t until she grinds the coping on the other side and skates back in my direction that I remember I’m supposed to be dropping in too.

We skate like this, side by side, moving from one feature to the next, until others start to show up.

I’m not surprised when Jordan picks up her board with the new arrivals, but when she looks at me and tells me she’s going up to the half pipe, I can’t stop my jaw from dropping.

Before I can respond, Jordan’s moving in that direction.

“Jordan, wait.” I snap out of my state of shock. She’s already to the stairs and I jog to catch up.

“I know I’m not ready, Beck.”

I should be encouraging her, but when it comes to this particular demon, the truth is she’s not ready. “Hotshot, your technical skills have improved so fast these past couple weeks it’s unreal.” She hasn’t slowed her pace up the stairs, and I struggle to find the right words before we reach the top. “But you still aren’t one hundred percent yourself on a skateboard yet.”

“It’s okay Beck, I know.”

“In some ways, you’re a better skateboarder than you were before the crash. And your style is like no one else’s. But there’s something missing, maybe confidence or a sense of ownership, I don’t know.”

Jordan stops at the last stair as I attempt to explain why the half pipe is a bad idea without crushing her spirit. She places a hand on my chest. “Beck, I’m not going to drop in. I just want to sit up here and take it in, okay?”

“Shit, my heart is beating out of my chest. I wish you’d said that when you charged over here.”

“Sorry, the idea popped into my head and I didn’t want to psych myself out. I think it will be good for me to just be up here.”

I follow her the last step and stand beside her as she looks down the giant vert and across to the other side of the structure. I’m still shaken from watching her first crash from the parking lot nearly a year ago, and the second one from some random person’s video back in December. Just being up here isn’t easy for me anymore, and I can’t imagine what it’s like for Jordan.

She turns around after a moment and walks to the other side of the platform, sitting down on the end and looking out at the ocean.

My legs follow, and I sit beside her, understanding why she needs this. She might not be dropping in, but this is still facing her demons. Telling them she’ll be back. Some day. And I know she will, even if the thought of it alone nearly gives me a heart attack.

“I know I tried to talk you out of it just now, Hotshot, but that doesn’t mean I think you’ll never be ready. You will be.”

“I’m not in a hurry for this one,” she says quietly. “It’s not the kind of thing I can test out first, dip my toe in, you know? I can’t afford another head injury.”

“A lot of people would be terrified just sitting here with their legs dangling over the edge, so I know it’s not fear holding you back. You’re being smart, and I admire that.”

She’s always been